I'm a 28-year-old Catholic American who, on Feb. 13, took vows of poverty, chastity and obedience with the Father Kolbe Missionaries of the Immaculata in West Covina, a worldwide secular institute of pontifical right dedicated to leading all men to Jesus through Mary.

Many people ask --- in voices tinged with everything from awe to exasperation --- why I would do this. The answer is very simple: I love God. I desire to be with Him, serve Him and to love Him more profoundly every day. I am not consecrating my life to God because I am something special, but because I want something extraordinary. I want to be united to God, and I do not want to wait. It is that simple.

How did I end up with the Father Kolbe Missionaries? I'm a dreamer. Some of my dreams are simple like wishing to spend a few nights in Death Valley when the flowers are in bloom, and some of my dreams are a little bit adventurous like wishing to hike Half Dome in Yosemite or ride my bike the length of California.

And some of my dreams cross the line between wishing and hoping, because they are centered on one great concern: the happiness of men and women. Not a mundane kind of happiness that comes and goes with the sunsets over Newport Beach, a good glass of wine, or extra change in your pocket. I'm referring to the happiness that is found in knowing that you are loved by Love Himself.

I'm hoping for a happiness that defies description, because it is a supernatural joy rooted so deep within oneself that no earthly storms can dislodge it. It is a happiness that is not about feeling good, but about the conviction that God is with us even when we don't feel it. My hope is for a happiness that begins now, is for all, and is found only in Christ with our Mother Mary.

This hope springs first of all from the Catholic Church, whose sacraments have nourished me from my baptism and whose charity has set a universal standard of excellence. I learned to live the faith through the Militia of the Immaculata, in which I was totally consecrated to Our Lady, and discovered the power and all-encompassing spirit of St. Maximilian. In the Father Kolbe Missionaries, I am given the opportunity to offer my life to make this hope a reality for all people.

The Father Kolbe Missionaries have taught me to dream and hope without fear, because while the world is broken and suffering, it is also beautiful and bursting with the wonders of the Lord. The Father Kolbe Missionaries of the Immaculata take up the legacy left by St. Maximilian Kolbe, who found joy even in the Bunker of Auschwitz. He testified to the beauty of the individual and all of God's creation, while fighting vehemently against sin and the false ideologies of his day.

The Father Kolbe Missionaries look to continue St. Maximilian's mission by entrusting themselves to the Immaculate Mother, whose purity manifests our own final destination and whose holiness shines forth as inspirational guide. With the Father Kolbe Missionaries I can be an instrument in the hands of this Mother, an instrument for bringing about the authentic happiness in Christ for the Glory of God. It is a gift, a call, a mission.

Jesus Christ has held out His Sacred Heart to me, burning with Divine Love for me and all His children. He has given and blessed my desire to serve Him unreservedly. I wait to see all the wonders the Lord will perform as He continues to draw me to Himself. I know I will appreciate an ever more authentic happiness in Him, and thus be able to share it with the world wherever and however I am called. This is the simple beauty of being a Father Kolbe Missionary; my only hope now is to be a faithful one!

Jillian Cooke grew up in Santa Clarita, attending Our Lady of Perpetual Help School. She was confirmed at St Clare Church, Canyon Country, and worked in youth ministry at Blessed Kateri Tekakwitha Church, Santa Clarita. She is a graduate of Thomas Aquinas College, Santa Paula. The Father Kolbe Missionaries of the Immaculata were founded in 1954 in Bologna, Italy, by Conventual Franciscan Father Luigi Faccenda, and approved as a secular institute of pontifical right in 1992. Locally, the Missionaries have served in the archdiocese for 26 years, based in West Covina as active parishioners at St. Christopher Church. They work with youth and lead retreats and Bible study in the Los Angeles and Orange dioceses, and work with the poor in Manaedero, Mexico. For information, call (626) 917-0040; write to 531 E. Merced Ave., West Covina, CA 91790; or visit www.kolbemission.org.