What makes a parish "work"? What makes it a place that draws people of different ages, interests, cultures and family configurations? How does a parish become a place to turn to, a beacon in times of joy and sorrow?

Many volumes have addressed this issue, notably "Excellent Catholic Parishes" by Paul Wilkes (Paulist Press, 2001). The common traits of "excellent parishes" listed by Wilkes include the willingness to question the status quo and make changes if necessary; the wisdom to recognize the importance being part of the larger community; and the desire to "welcome people to the table, no questions asked … no hoops to jump through."

Perhaps this last trait is the primary key to the success of any parish. It is certainly the key to attracting young families to parish life.

Another trait: a sense of spirituality underlying every ministry. Parishes offer prayer experiences to their ministers as well as parishioners --- important because too often, ministers work diligently to develop vibrant parish ministries, yet have little time left for their own spiritual enrichment.

And one more: Parishes recruit competent staff members, and they pay competitive salaries. This speaks for itself.

Yet it has become apparent to me that, more than anything else, the heart of a parish, "excellent" or not, is the people, and the relationships they build with each other as they worship, raise their families in the faith and work to make their communities better places.

This became clear recently as I sat in the back of a crowded church at a funeral liturgy for a man who had been an integral part of his parish. He was there the day the doors of the parish opened; his wife was one of the first staff members. Over the years, the parish became the center of their lives, ready to step in whenever anything needed to be done. They were also very friendly people who greeted everyone with a smile and a greeting that let you know they remembered something significant in your life.

Within the large group gathered for this funeral were faces and voices that were no longer part of this man's parish family. They were, however, part of his life and his faith. It was friendship and faith that brought everyone together this day, and as I watched and listened it took me to a place of hope. Certainly, the smiles, handshakes and hugs that took place at this funeral were a sign of God's work in this particular parish community.

Parishes, like families, sometimes suffer through disagreements. Groups within a parish feel their needs are not being met, or individuals find they are more comfortable at a neighboring parish. Such movement from one parish to another has become a fact of life for Catholics as they seek a spiritual home that meets their needs, and (hopefully) welcomes the gifts and talents they bring. Still, there remains a feeling of loss when someone moves on.

Every parish, "excellent" or not, has its share of strengths and weaknesses. Above all else, the people of a parish are on a journey, a search for their connection to God, and their search may take them to more than one parish community. A parish which recognizes this, and does its best to make its people welcomed, nourished, appreciated and alive in the faith, for however long its people are part of their community, will have taken a long stride toward excellence.

Anne Hansen is a member of the Camarillo Catholic community. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com.