"Worry looks around. Sorry looks back. Faith looks up."

This saying came to me today via e-mail from friends who have lost two grandchildren at birth, a sister and brother-in-law in a car accident and a 90-year-old mother, all within 18 months.

They have been riding the roller coaster of sadness, depression, worry and confusion. Some days they are just numb. It has been more than any of us friends and family can fathom. The cards, cookies and memorials seem insignificant in the face of so much loss.

But today, the e-mail explains how they have survived, even thrived, in coming together as a family in their grief.

"Faith looks up." That's it:

--- If you have faith in a loving God whom you are certain will heal your heart, then you can look up to that God and have hope.

--- If you believe that death is not the end but the beginning of a new life, then you can hope to get through it and be reunited with your departed loved ones some day.

--- If you believe in the communion of saints, you are certain that those you loved are with you still.

This family experienced hope despite their heartbreaking losses because they were surrounded by the love and care of family and friends. When the babies died, hundreds of people contributed to foundations and scholarship funds in their memory.

They wrote poems and sang their sad Irish songs to one another. They prayed and celebrated the gift of life, even for a 2-month-old infant and a baby who died in utero. They sang, "May the angels take you to paradise," and they cried.

Hope doesn't stand alone or drop out of heaven like rain. It's more like a mist that surrounds a family when the parish community brings meals to the house, neighbors extend hospitality to relatives who come for the funeral and the boy next door mows your lawn for you when you are overwhelmed.

Parishes are places of hope when people respond out of love and concern to those experiencing illness, death or loss. At the funeral liturgies, hope is renewed in the community as the promises of God's mercy and goodness are prayed and sung.

Every family experiences hope in different ways through the seasons of its life. An aging father whose child married later in life has his first and only grandchild at age 83. The child will carry on the family name. He has hope.

A 55-year-old friend who hikes, bikes and runs is diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. She told me that she has medicines that help and a husband who has promised to stick with her no matter what. She has hope.

A downtown parish is surrounded by rundown apartments and people living on the street. They pray daily for their neighbors in need, and every day some of the parishioners provide food and shelter for the homeless. They have engaged Habitat for Humanity to help rebuild their community. They have hope.

Pope Benedict XVI, in his encyclical on hope, "Spe Salvi," emphasizes the relationship between prayer and hope. In all of the above situations, those who faced hardship and loss were surrounded by prayer.

Mary Jo Pedersen, a veteran coordinator of marriage and family spirituality programs, lives in Omaha, Neb. She is the author of "More Than Meets the Eye: Finding God in the Creases and Folds of Family Life" from Saint Mary's Press.