There have been a few times in my life where I have felt very directed and focused - times when I had clear goals and was moving toward them in a methodical way. Working my way through school was one of those times.
Then, as graduation approached, I realized that I had no plan beyond it. I didn't know what to do.
In today's Gospel reading, Jesus tells his followers, "Where I am going you know the way." Thomas responds, "Master, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?"
Thomas' comments explain how I felt after college, and how I still feel much of the time as I try and figure out how to be a parent, child, employee, parishioner and all the other roles I have taken on in my life. I often feel that I don't know where God is leading me, and I wonder how in the world I am supposed to take a next step.
Jesus' answer to Thomas is, in some ways, all the more beguiling: "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me." What does this mean, Thomas must be asking himself. How is it that the risen Christ, a reality the disciples have not yet fathomed, will give them direction for their lives as individuals and as a community?
I suppose this is a question we all must ask ourselves. How is Jesus "the way" for each one of us? Certainly we know we are to follow him. But how do we do that in our contemporary lives? This brings us back to the same question Thomas asks at the beginning of today's Gospel: "How can we know the way?"
I remember one time when I was trying to drive home from an event late at night, and I become terribly lost in San Francisco. It's a much bigger city than you might think. I found myself driving through woods and forests with no idea how to orient myself. It is not fun to be lost, and it is even more frightening when you really don't know how to find your way home.
It is even worse to be spiritually lost. When we take a wrong turn in life, and cannot find our way back to a state of peace and confidence, what are we to do? If Jesus is the way, then perhaps we need to stop a frantic search for direction and try to listen for his voice and his guidance.
How will it come? I think that is just what the disciples are struggling with. They probably felt that they knew how to follow Jesus when he was physically present. They are unsure how to live in this new reality that has descended up on them.
Whether we feel directed and focused, or hopelessly lost, Jesus is the way. Jesus assures us that if we know him, we know the way, and that if we seek him, we won't be lost for long. Bill Peatman writes from Napa. |