"Early in the morning, on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene and Mary, the mother of James, came to the tomb…"
---Matthew 28:1

These familiar words immediately bring to mind the joy of Easter, the promise of new life and of dreams fulfilled. I have often wondered what was it like for those women on that early morning journey. Were their hearts filled with anticipation as they traveled to the tomb about to witness the greatest miracle?

I don't know what the two women were thinking, but I can't help but wonder if the hope and promise of life we feel when we hear these words are not the only message the story brings. It is a story of hope, but I think it is more than that. It is also a story of expectations left unmet, dreams that were shattered, and hearts that were broken.

We all have expectations and hopes. The disciples had them. They had hoped that Jesus would free Israel, and now Jesus was dead. God did not do what they had asked Him to do and He did not give them what they had expected. This was their Messiah, the same one who had calmed a storm, fed the thousands, and healed the sick. They expected Him to fight back, and they expected Him to win. He had healed many and even raised Lazarus from the dead.

Now, their Messiah Himself lay dead in a tomb. Their hope was gone, their dreams seemed forgotten. Their expectations were left unfulfilled.

What really was on the minds and in the hearts of the women on that first Easter morning? I don't think it was hope or expectations, simply because these two women did not know what we know. They did not know that this was the first Easter. They walked to the tomb broken-hearted. Everything they had hoped for and dreamed of had been shattered. Jesus, the one they loved so dearly, was dead.

Their greatest concern as they journeyed to the tomb that morning was how they would be able to move the heavy stone so they could prepare His body for burial. What brought them to the tomb was not what they expected to receive; they went to the tomb out of pure devotion and love for Jesus. They went with no requests and no expectations. They went only with pure love … and look at the reward that God had waiting for them!

"Do not be afraid! You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, the one who was crucified. He has been raised, exactly as He promised…" (Matthew 28:5-6).

All of our lives can be like that journey to the tomb on that first Easter morning. We all have hopes and dreams and expectations. We pray, we hope and we have faith, but sometimes what we ask for with all our hearts does not turn out the way we had planned. Everyone has disappointments. A job is lost, a loved one betrays us, a promotion is denied, a diagnosis is given … our hearts are broken and our dreams are shattered. Unfulfilled expectations.

About six years ago I was diagnosed with a rare cancer in my bone marrow. The doctors were quite serious as they explained how the biological process of this disease is resistant to standard chemotherapy. The abnormal chromosome changes that had occurred in my bone marrow gave a poor prognosis --- but even so, I had hopes and I had expectations.

I expected to fight it and I expected to win. I expected to keep my life as "normal" as possible while I received my treatment. I tried to be there for my four children and my husband. I wanted to keep teaching my kindergarten class at our parish school. I expected to do everything I wanted to do and still beat this thing and go on with my life.

But somewhere in what I expected to happen, a different plan began to unfold.

As I write this, I have far surpassed the original 18-month life expectancy given to me at diagnosis, and for that I am grateful. However, I have fallen quite short of the expectations I had for myself. More than once I have reached the realization that a disease like this could eventually take my life. More than once my husband and I have sat helpless as the specialists have told us they were sorry, but they could not give us any real hope. More than once we have driven home in silence, with our expectations unmet and our dreams denied.

I never thought it would be like this. I thought if I prayed, if I had enough faith, if I expected to beat this cancer, I not only could --- I would.

Maybe you have been there, too. You have prayed, you have hoped and you have dreamed, but things did not turn out the way you had planned. When our expectations are unmet, how do we find the courage to go on?

Can we trust God, who knows the whole story, or will we let our disappointment turn to anger and despair? Can we take the same journey of the two women that first Easter morning? Can we go to Jesus, with our broken hearts and our hopes denied? Can we bring to Him nothing more than our pure love and devotion? Can we set aside our expectations of what we think we want, and leave our hearts open to what God knows we need?

It was still dark that first Easter morning as the women approached the tomb. Our world is filled with darkness, too. Dark with fear, disappointments and pain. Journey through those dark moments to Jesus. Go to Him with your unfulfilled expectations and your broken hearts. Go to Him when your world is dark and everything you hoped for is gone. Go to Him with nothing else but that pure love and devotion that Mary Magdalene and Mary did on that first Easter morning.

Just go to Him. You never know … the stone may be moved. You may find the Son has risen and brought light into your world of darkness.

Therese C. Corsaro attends St. Mary Church in Palmdale.