People in 12-step programs conclude the familiar form of the Serenity Prayer with " ... and the wisdom to know the difference." The practical wisdom they are praying for is the ability to discern what they can change and what they cannot change, what they are in control of and what they must accept if they are to remain serene and sober.
This wisdom requested by people in recovery today is similar to the wisdom Solomon reputedly petitioned over 2,000 years ago in his great prayer in the Book of Wisdom: "Give me Wisdom, the attendant at your throne ... that I may know what is your pleasure" (9:4, 10).
Solomon asks to know God's will with the assumption that he will eagerly do it. This wisdom the late Bishop Raymond Lucker, formerly of New Ulm, Minn., used to describe as "God's way of looking at things."
Yet a basic mistake many make repeatedly is thinking they are more powerful in others' lives than they really are, or they give others more power over themselves than they ought. They also claim less power in their own lives than they really have.
For example, some criticize elected officials but do not vote, moan about a supervisor's insensitivity but never ask for what is needed at work, wish a spouse would be more tender and responsive but never think to initiate being more tender and responsive.
When we fail to reflect on our own experience, which is the beginning of wisdom, and keep doing what we have always done, never-changing results are predictable.
Only when life hits us over the head do we wake up.
Wisdom often comes as a rude awakening. Usually the price of wisdom is letting go of our expectations of others and beginning to ask something more of ourselves.
The wisdom of the stock market is to "buy low and sell high." The wisdom of team sports is that "a good defense will beat a good offense." Both of these pieces of wisdom are intensely practical.
So too is biblical wisdom. It is anchored in the realization that there is one God, and you and I are not him. There is much we do not control; all we do control are our thoughts, feelings and actions. This is a simple lesson but not an easy one to learn.
This is why the first lines of the Serenity Prayer are "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can."
The wisdom to know the difference between these two remains the wisdom of Solomon today.
Richard Rice is the director of spiritual development at the Retreat, a 12-step recovery center in Wayzata, Minn.
Food for Thought
Most people will open their Bible to a particular book, never once reading its introduction. But they should, advises the New American Bible's introductory sections on "How to Read Your Bible":
"If you want to understand what God has to tell you through Scripture, you must first understand what the writer wants to say. The Bible is God's word and man's word. One must understand man's word first in order to understand the word of God."
This introduction also emphasizes that the Bible is "God's word to you, now! ... The past is dead.... Yet there is something (we have) in common (with those of biblical times), namely, we are captives in our odd and sorry human situation (as the Hebrews in Egypt, in Palestine during the Roman occupation)....
"This something in common, found in any passage of Scripture, is called existential understanding," and "is aided by faithful Bible reading....
"The Hebrews were restless searchers for meaning in our human condition. Reading their inspired literature should challenge you to go on with a faithful search for meaning in your own situation." ---Carole Norris Greene
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