My husband and three of his high school buddies --- Bert, Jay and Paul --- are celebrating their 60th birthdays this year. They have known each other for most of those 60 years growing up in the Pasadena area. Jay and my husband met in the fourth grade at Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary School; Paul and Bert went to St. Philip the Apostle together. All four graduated from La Salle High School in 1965, when it was an all-boys' school.
In "the good old days" of high school, each made their mark. Bert was a basketball player; Jay, an academic whiz kid and golfer; Paul, an aspiring actor; and my husband, a baseball and water polo player. They have stories about academics, sports, girls and everything in between that keep their families and friends laughing and rolling their eyes.
Sometimes, listening to the stories I wonder how their teachers put up with the antics. They must have been extraordinary men with great patience, wisdom and skill, because today, years later, the four years spent together at La Salle are happy, positive memories.
After graduation each young man went his separate way to college, marriage and family life --- between the four of them there are 17 children --- and over the years they have attended baptisms, graduations and weddings of each other's children. They are good men who have worked to support families, educate children and build businesses.
Recently there was a party for the last of them to turn 60. It was amazing to see these four men, their hair thinned and changed color, but their smiles, senses of humor and mischievous ways still intact.
Over the last couple of years they have gone on golfing trips together, always returning with great stories about golf scores and beautiful scenery, but more importantly about how they enjoyed each other's company. They may not discuss how special their bond is special, but they cherish it nonetheless. They share roots --- neighborhoods, schools, teachers and all sorts of shared experiences --- that bring a sense of comfort and joy.
Each of these four men is optimistic about being 60. They joke about aging but do not seem fearful of it. Perhaps that's due to their friendships. They have a lot of golf to play and living to do. They do not hesitate to drive long distances over the freeways of Southern California to meet and attend each other's parish and charity fundraisers. They certainly do not agree on every social issue, but they respect each other's views.
When we are young, everybody is our friend. As we get older and life settles down, time becomes more precious and we tend to seek out a few good friends. It does not mean we are less adventurous or less social. Rather, most of us prioritize differently, and our priorities often include fewer but more meaningful relationships.
To be surrounded by good friends is always a blessing; to have close bonds with people we have known most of our lives is a special blessing, especially as we get older. It is summarized nicely in a passage from Proverbs (17:17):
"A true friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need."
Anne Hansen is a member of the Camarillo Catholic community. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com. |