"In our era, the road to holiness necessarily passes through the world of action."
- Dag Hammarskjlöd (1905-1961), U.N. secretary-general, from "Night Is Drawing Nigh," Markings (1963).
Child sexual abuse is a reality in our society and within our Church. While we may not be able to eliminate this reality from our society, as caring adults we have the opportunity to recognize questionable behaviors and to identify possible symptoms or behaviors displayed by children who may have been sexually abused. Awareness and education can be a major step in identifying potential abuse and identifying the short-term effects of sexual abuse. Such awareness and education can help ease the long-term effects of sexual abuse.
All adults are needed to protect children and youth, but it is those who interact with children and youth who become the core of the prevention effort within each parish or community; this makes sense because those who have regular contact with children and youth are central individuals who watch over and protect them.
The main goal of the VIRTUS® program is to assist the Church, and other organizations, in creating a safe haven for children by educating and uniting caring adults who are willing to be aware of the reality of sexual abuse. Those who know the warning signs of abuse, control access to children, monitor all programs, and speak their concerns are the caring adults who influence the safety of children and young people. By developing awareness, people within a community are able to discuss the reality of child sexual abuse openly. Breaking the silence about child sexual abuse is an essential part of education, prevention, and healing.
The Protecting God's Children® program attempts to help caring adults become part of the solution in raising a "healthy suspicion" about something or someone in their environment. Such a "healthy suspicion" can assist adults in protecting all children, youth, and vulnerable adults from the risk of being abused. Identifying grooming behaviors that can lead to abuse requires that all adults be aware of the warning signs and be willing to speak their concerns.
Child molesters do not only "groom" a potential victim; they also groom parents and others in the adult community. Molesters can often masterfully desensitize a potential victim as well parents, adults, and others to their grooming behaviors. By desensitizing the community a molester can deceive and lead them to believe that he or she has special insight into children and is someone who can be trusted.
Community grooming, or grooming the adults around a child, enables the molester to present himself or herself to other adults as a generous, kind person who genuinely likes children and cares about their best interest. The molester may even develop a deep rapport with the parents of the victim to gain their confidence as well as further access.
While on the surface, these activities may seem innocent enough, they can be the prelude to a sexual contact with the child. It is important to note that in some cases the molester does not go beyond the grooming behaviors, but the risk remains. Creating a safe environment demands watching for the warning behaviors and speaking your concern regarding grooming behavior or potential abuse before it happens.
Communicating your concerns means telling someone when you are uncomfortable with a situation or questionable behavior. It means paying attention to your intuition and speaking up - not waiting until it is too late. Speaking your concerns means discussing suspected abuse with the appropriate people such as:
---Talk to the person involved
---Speak to their supervisor
---Notify a church official
---Call the child abuse hot line
---Call the police
And document each step. Keep a journal of your concerns, with the date and time of your actions, and who you contacted. Some states consider all residents to be mandated reporters of abuse; you are legally obligated to report your suspicion to the police or child protective services if you suspect or know about abuse. If you are not legally obliged (a mandated reporter) to report your concern or suspicion, that does not mean that you are not morally responsible to communicate your concerns to the proper authorities.
If you do not voice your concerns, your passive presence can be interpreted as permission and approval. It is difficult to speak our concerns, but it is even more difficult for a child to speak about their confusion and painful experience. Even if abuse is not occurring, it is still important to let others know when you have concerns. Only by communicating concerns can we use our knowledge to protect children and youth. Michael J. Bland, Psy.D., D. Min., L.C.P.C. is a consultant to the VIRTUS® Programs and a clinical professional counselor in private practice in Illinois. This article is the copyrighted property of The National Catholic Risk Retention Group, Inc. (Copyright © 1999-2007 by the National Catholic Risk Retention Group, Inc., all rights reserved), and is reprinted here with permission. For more information about VIRTUS@Online or other VIRTUS® services, visit www.virtus.org or call (888) 847-8870. This series of feature stories, commentary and analysis is compiled and edited by an advisory group to the Media Relations Office of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, through which the articles are distributed. |