On Oct. 28, Virginia Ramirez displayed her Aztec-inspired paintings and drawings during her first art show at the Holy Spirit Retreat Center's first Autumn Festival of Art in Encino.
For art veterans displaying their latest works, such wine-and-cheese affairs are almost standard procedure. But for Ramirez, a Highland Park 30-year-old mother of three, who is eight months pregnant, it was a heady life milestone in a history stacked with family tragedies, personal demons and, most of all, deep determination to keep going.
Virginia says she always loved art and always was interested in Native Americans. She liked to "scribble" things, especially when she was anxious and hurting. At eight or nine, she remembers sitting back in bed and focusing on the ironing board or TV, which she would meticulously draw with a pencil.
The fear and pain she felt inside increased dramatically when the oldest of her six brothers, Alphonso, was killed in gang violence. He was 14, just a year older than her. She was devastated.
"He used to take care of me," she said during an interview at the art show. "He was really strict and didn't let me go out at certain times. He was the male authority because my dad was living in Mexico. When he passed away, that's when I ended up getting pregnant."
Tragically in years to come, two more of her six brothers would also die violently at the hands of gangbangers in Highland Park.
"I was really close to them because we were closer in age than my two sisters," Virginia confided. "I was a little tomboy always playing with them. They were my buddies. So their deaths really affected me.
"It had a lot to do with how I started behaving and feeling. It was traumatizing. But I turned again to art because I had hatred. I was confused. I was rebellious. That's why I believe I got pregnant at such a young age because I blamed my mother.
"Now that I'm a mother, I understand," she pointed out. "You can't really control what happens to your children."
House of Ruth
The teenage rebel wound up on the street with a baby. After wearing out her welcome with so-called friends, they were virtually homeless. That's when, in desperation, she called the House of Ruth in East L.A., a shelter primarily serving battered women.
Barely 17 with a two-year-old son, Virginia had to be granted special permission to stay, which she and her baby did for 18 months.
"They taught me a lot," she reported. "They wanted me to be responsible. So they taught me how to cook. They taught me how to clean. How to take care of my son. Things that I'd never done before. They helped me go back to school. And I was able to save all kinds of money.
"I mean, if you ask me what was the best experience of my life besides having my kids, it was the House of Ruth. Because if it wasn't for the House of Ruth, I know for a fact that I would have been a drug addict or a prostitute."
Virginia and son Sebastian returned to her family in Highland Park at about the time her last brother was killed. She broke down again, falling back into feelings of pain and anger. A single query play over and over in her raging mind: Why does this happen to us?
"So all of this hurt and frustration, I pressed it into my painting," she explained. "Even today I cry when I recall when and why I did certain works. But back then I would also feel like, 'My God, okay, now let's keep on going. We're going to live. We're going to learn.'"
Seven years ago, Virginia did her first formal painting: "Aztec Princess." With only a black pen from a 99-Cent Store - drawing line after line and using a lot of self-taught cross-hatching technique - it took her a year to finish.
Aztec influence
Next she started experimenting with different color pens and took a beginner's art class at Pasadena Community College, where she learned about shading and shadowing, along with how to work with charcoal. Later she joined an Aztec dance group called Vanza because she wanted to know more about her Mexican heritage, which would become an even greater influence on her art.
Life was good.
She fell in love with a kind man named Mario, who supported her work. Eight years ago they had a daughter named Nineth. But postpartum depression became so severe that she finally sought professional help. She was prescribed antidepressants and it was recommended she "keep busy."
The only thing Virginia could think of was returning to her first love, which she had practically given up on while caring for her family.
"Even if I just sat there and did a little drop of rain and shaded it, it helped," she said. "Then I realized how much time it took and how much of my thinking and my thought went into it. It pushed my depression away, and it really helped me a lot.
"A lot," she stressed. "I don't know what else I would have done to get better."
Virginia says it's her family, grown now to a boy and two girls, as well as her art and the House of Ruth that have brought about the biggest changes in her life. In fact, today she's a night manager of the House of Ruth and hopes to go to college so she can become a case manager at the shelter.
"I love working there," she said with a smile. "I talk to the women and they're going through a lot of the stuff that I went through. I want to help other people. I want to share my story and what I've been through.
"And maybe they have some artistic abilities that they don't know of?" she mused. "It can be anything: sewing, drawing, painting. Maybe I can help get them into it."
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