Problems in the parish? Try patience and prayer
The parish is the center of spiritual life for most Catholics. It is the place in our neighborhood that we go to bless our marriages, baptize our children, educate these children in the faith, celebrate anniversaries and bury our dead.
It is a place we look to for support, nurturing and social interaction --- spiritually and emotionally. Our common belief in God, and our recognition that this belief needs others to sustain it and help it grow, brings us to the parish. We are drawn to the parish community with a sense of longing that is often unspoken and not completely understood, but deeply felt.
The parish is a place of positive feelings and interaction. For families it is a sacred place, where they return sometimes just to recall and reflect on important milestones of Catholic life.
The parish is also a human institution, an organization created and run by men and women, which means it has the same potential for problems as other institutions. Which surprises many of us, because we see the parish as something of God, above reproach. We expect ministers, both ordained and lay, paid and volunteer, to be above the usual fray and power struggles of their counterparts in the secular world.
But in every parish are people who are sometimes at odds with each other on how the parish should operate. Even with differences of opinion, parish life usually moves along relatively smoothly. However, every once in a while hearts harden, minds set and groups form, claiming this is how it should be done. They can become territorial, petty and, in the worst cases, combative.
What to do? There is always the parking lot plan --- impromptu meetings after Mass (or scheduled meetings), where grievances are aired. There are closed-door meetings that focus on what can we do about "them." Such plans may be useful for letting off steam, but are ultimately unproductive and, frankly, not terribly Christian.
It is better for everyone to take a step back and reflect on what a parish is for --- and what their faith is all about. And then, to sit down and rationally address --- in Christian openness, honesty, charity, respect and prayerful dialogue with everyone involved --- what has happened, and why. Was this action necessary? Was it a power play, or were there legitimate reasons? It is much like a family that, in difficult times, must be willing to sit and listen to each other with open minds.
And then, to move together toward a course of action, mindful that not everyone may agree, but that the feelings of all are being heard and respected. (It is not unlike the process our Archdiocesan Synod undertook in 2001-03 in surfacing the priorities of the local Church, and how to address them.) When there is collaboration, the parish community inevitably benefits. When there is a battle for control, the community suffers.
In teaching at and attending parishes over the years, I have heard and experienced stories of parish turmoil. It takes strong leadership --- in today's parish, lay and ordained --- to address the situation with kindness to bring the community back together.
Today is a different age of parish life than it was in the past. Parishes may not be democracies, but those who welcome diversity in thought and action --- integrating a variety of views, valuing their members, committed to meeting their spiritual needs, recognizing the challenges of their members' daily lives, and remaining true to their faith and mission --- will be the most successful in living and proclaiming the Gospel in their communities. Anne Hansen is a member of the Camarillo Catholic community. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com.
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