On June 17, 2007, Monsignor Patrick J. O'Brien would have celebrated 51 years as a priest in the archdiocese of Los Angeles.

With his sudden death on August 28, 2005, I have found it very hard to plan events and share celebrations and not have Monsignor among our friends and family. He was not my pastor, my director, nor my mentor. But he was most certainly my friend. And in this age of suspicion, fearful relationships and non-trust, he stood head and shoulders above the rest.

Rev. Patrick Joseph O'Brien was part of the "Irish Clergy Invasion" of California in the 1950s, initially assigned as associate pastor at St. Anselm's parish in Los Angeles. As a longtime member of this parish I was used to Irish priests, and the challenge of trying to understand their thick brogues (it might take at least two years in some cases!). But this one was different; he didn't need to try too hard to be understood, he had a great laugh and a special twinkle in the eye --- and he cared about people. Of that, there was no mistake, and his caring was far more important than pronunciation or elocution.

Father O'Brien became my friend when he "signed me up" for my marriage to another parishioner and he joyfully announced to both of us, "You're in the book --- Now and Forever!" Because we continued to live in the parish after we were wed, Father O'Brien would visit us often and soon, without anyone realizing, he became family.

When our children were born, he was among the first at the hospital nursery and baptisms were always O'Brien ceremonies. Who wouldn't love a priest who was such a close friend? Life moved along.

From 1964 to 1966, Father O'Brien attended Loyola University in Chicago and we moved to St. Lawrence Martyr parish in Redondo Beach, but our friendship continued to grow. Family First Holy Communions? Father O'Brien presided. Confirmation? He attended and assisted the bishop. Our children truly believed they were Catholic because they had their own father to prove it!

Father O'Brien became Monsignor O'Brien in 1974, and was appointed pastor of San Buenaventura Mission in Ventura in 1981. What a great place to visit! "Come up from the city to the country," he would encourage us, and so we did, for 24 years.

Grandchildren arrived, and that eventually meant fourth grade and the study of the California Missions. And there was no doubt that Monsignor would provide the tour of the Mission. The granddaughters were led through the Mission in O'Brien style, with little fuss but lots of concern and information. He was Monsignor but he was their friend, too, and he always wished them a great big "A" on their Mission report.

He cared through three generations of our family. He was more than our friend; he was Family! We all miss him, but I know he would shake his head and say, "Aw, go on with you, now. T'was God's plan for me. Just go forward."

To all who have read and listened about priestly scandal, I give this advice: Look for the good, for the caring and sharing, and of course be vigilant, but also loving. The Church is what you bring to it and the priest is but a guide. Religion is more caught then taught.

Today I miss my friend. But because Monsignor O'Brien shared his priestly vocation as a positive influence, we are all better Catholics and better friends. Thank You, Monsignor. You were a Priestly Man of God and my dear friend.

Joan Watters Geltz is a parishioner and retired director of religious education at St. Lawrence Martyr Church, Redondo Beach. She also taught at her alma mater, St. Mary's Academy in Inglewood, and is a graduate of Mount St. Mary's College.