Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely hind, a graceful doe. Let her affection fill you at all times with delight, be infatuated always with her love.
---Proverbs 5:18-19
In 1952, a young priest in Spain named Father Gabriel Calvo began a small program for married couples through a series of conferences based on living out the fullness of a sacramental relationship with an emphasis on good marital communication. The conferences featured both a clergyman and married couples as presenters.
It wasn't very long before these marriage conferences became popular, and spread rapidly throughout Spain and on to the other Latin American countries. Today, Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekends are currently offered in over 80 different countries in a variety of languages --- and in a variety of faiths.
Over the years, I have seen many invitations in Catholic parish bulletins for married couples to take part in a Marriage Encounter weekend. I had always heard good things about it, but never seemed to have the time to check into it.
Recently, two friends shared with me how Marriage Encounter is a must for any couple wanting to enrich their marriage at a time when the culture seems to be attacking Holy Matrimony from every angle. Married couples need God in the middle of the marriage. As Archbishop Futon Sheen used to say, "It takes three to get married."
Both of my friends were deeply moved by their experience. One of them presented me with a gift registration for a Marriage Encounter weekend with my husband, so we decided to take advantage of the opportunity.
Marriage Encounter is not geared toward couples with serious marital problems, but rather an experience of deep spiritual renewal and connection. That is not to say that it couldn't help in troubled circumstances. It is truly amazing, though, how years of busy family life and responsibility can gradually shift the husband-wife relationship to a lesser place than its dignity would have it. Marriage Encounter emphasizes the importance of priority in the order of God, spouse and then children.
Tom and I will be married 20 years this November, so it was a perfect time to make this weekend together. So much has transpired in our lives since our wedding day at St. Finbar Church in Burbank. We really did not know what to expect upon our arrival to the Holiday Inn in Woodland Hills, but along with 15 or so other couples, we were warmly greeted by the Marriage Encounter teams who had everything ready for us.
No upfront fees of any kind are required; no one is ever refused the opportunity to make a weekend because of a lack of funds. At the conclusion of the program, each couple is given an opportunity to make a donation (most are more than happy to do so). Our registration couple shared that they chose to donate toward their weekend over a period of months. It is a matter of good faith and trust that couples who experience the weekend will later contribute something to the movement in order to enable others to afford future weekends.
A Marriage Encounter weekend is "a timeless existence," which I really enjoyed. Our team couples and priest encouraged everyone to forget about looking at clocks; they would keep us aware of all the activities, meals and conferences (and when to wake up!). The enable all couples to freely give to their spouse the gift of their undivided time and attention. We were also encouraged to avoid the use of telephones, television or laptops, trusting God that all was well at home.
Many of the exercises in Marriage Encounter involve writing love letters to the spouse. I don't think we ever wrote so many love letters to each other since our dating days! Some couples would share their feelings and letters with the whole group as a learning experience for everyone. The priest also offered his reflections on his spiritual marriage to the Church, and how different couples had helped him to live out his vocation.
The most moving part of the entire weekend for me was the incredible renewal of wedding vows, a grand finale I will never forget. There wasn't a dry eye in the place as the floodgates overflowed with tears and emotion.
There are many more good things to say about Marriage Encounter --- but I will leave them in the realm of discovery for those who have yet to live the experience.
Natalie Kigerl attends St. Mary Church in Palmdale. For information on Marriage Encounter, call the archdiocesan Office of Family Life, (213) 637-7250.
|