"Father, it's been a long time since I've been to confession. I don't know how to do it anymore."

I've heard similar statements many times in recent years as people return to the sacrament of reconciliation after many years. Some have not celebrated the sacrament since the changes that followed the Second Vatican Council (1962 to 1965), so they are unsure how the rite goes today. Others have just been away for several years and aren't sure where to begin.

In either case, my first response is to reassure people that they don't have to worry, and that I will guide them through the process. This sacrament is meant to be a healing encounter between God and the penitent, and there is no need to worry about exactly what to say or do.

The ritual for celebrating the sacrament is rather simple. When the penitent enters the reconciliation room, he or she can decide whether to kneel behind a screen or sit and face the priest. Many find the face-to-face experience much richer, though it may seem a little uncomfortable the first time. Others find value in maintaining their anonymity by using the screen.

Once the penitent enters, the rite says that "the priest welcomes him warmly and greets him with kindness." No formula of greeting is specified. The priest and penitent make the sign of the cross together. The priest may say a short prayer to which the penitent answers "Amen."

The priest may then read a short passage from the Bible, usually a text that calls us to repentance or reminds us of God's merciful love. After the reading, the penitent should tell the priest how long it has been since his or her last confession (a rough estimate will do) and then confess his or her sins.

If it has been a long time since the previous confession, I usually suggest that the penitent begin with any major sins from years past, focusing on what God seems to be calling him or her to change at this point in life.

After the confession of sins, the priest will propose an act of penance to be carried out after the celebration. Ideally, this penance will be related to the main issue that the penitent needs to address. It is meant to be an aid to the kind of change of life that needs to happen if the penitent is to avoid the same sin in the future.

The priest will then invite the penitent to express his or her sorrow, which can be done with a formal prayer of contrition or in the penitent's own words. Often there will be a printed aid available for those who need it.

Then the priest will extend hands over the penitent's head (or raise his right hand if the penitent is behind the screen) and pray the prayer of forgiveness. That prayer ends with the sign of the cross, which the penitent should make with the priest, answering "Amen."

The rite has a short formal dialogue for concluding the experience, though it is often omitted in practice. If it is used, the priest says, "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good," and the penitent responds, "His mercy endures forever."

Then the priest dismisses the penitent with one of several formulas, such as, "The Lord has freed you from your sins. Go in peace."

If the sacrament is celebrated within a communal penance service, the pattern is similar. The reading of Scripture and the prayer of contrition will be done in common, so they are not repeated in the one-on-one encounter. The penitent simply approaches the priest (often there are many priests, with only one or two offering the option of anonymity behind a screen), tells how long it has been and confesses his or her sins. The priest then assigns a penance and prays the prayer of absolution.

This sacrament is a wonderful occasion for healing and growth. Concerns about how to celebrate it should never keep anyone from making use of it. It is a simple but powerful opportunity to experience God's love.

Father Lawrence E. Father Mick is a priest of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, Ohio, and a freelance writer.