It is fair to say there are few families that do not deal with alcohol abuse at some time. Alcohol abusers include grandmas and grandpas, moms and dads, and children of all ages, as well as priests and nuns, lawyers and doctors, teachers and politicians.

Yet in many families and institutions it is tolerated, ignored or rationalized away --- and too often leads to tragedy that could have been avoided with proper assistance. The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependency states that nearly 18 million Americans abuse alcohol; that each year more than 100,000 die of alcohol-related causes; and that it is a factor in almost half of all U.S. traffic deaths.

The Mayo Clinic makes a subtle difference between alcoholism and alcohol abuse. Alcoholism is described as a preoccupation with alcohol and the lack of ability to control the intake of alcohol. It usually involves physical dependence on alcohol --- that feeling of having to have one more drink with nothing standing in the way. It is often a progressive disease that gets worse over time and, left untreated, has serious, often deadly consequences.

Alcohol abuse does not exhibit the full-blown dependency of alcoholism, but there is excessive use, and it does cause health and social problems that involve health, family, relationships, finances and work. And they contribute to the personal destruction of self-confidence and the ability to live as fully as God intended us to live.

Many people, embarrassed and ashamed, go to great lengths to hide or deny their alcohol dependency. Like the grandmother who went to help her son out when his first child was born, and took with her a stash of booze. She only let her son and daughter-in-law see her drinking a glass or two of wine at night --- no big deal, until the glasses of wine increased and started taking place during the day. It was obvious grandma had a problem, yet when it was brought up to her, her husband and the other adult children in the family, they denied there was any problem.

This attitude that says, "Things like this only happen to other people, not to people like us," is not unusual, but it is dangerous, and selfish. Problems do not disappear via denial.

In the long list of questions that health professionals ask to determine the level of alcohol abuse are the following:

---Do you need a drink as soon as you get up?

---Do you feel guilty about your drinking?

---Do you think you need to cut back on your alcohol consumption?

---Are you annoyed when other people comment on or criticize your drinking habits?

According to the Mayo Clinic, an answer of "yes" to even one of these questions may indicate a problem.

In almost any given Sunday morning assembly are people who are on the brink of alcohol abuse or well into it, as are others who live with or worry about a family member's drinking. It seems reasonable to suggest that more parish communities --- in addition to those who offer their facilities as meeting places for Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and other programs designed to assist those who suffer --- offer education and support on alcohol abuse-related issues.

For it is not a "comfortable" topic, but it is a ministry that many would welcome.

Anne Hansen is a parent education consultant and a parishioner at Blessed Junípero Serra Church, Camarillo. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com.