There is a new man in my life --- small, with big brown eyes and a sprinkling of dark hair. His skin is a bit wrinkly and he doesn't say much but he certainly makes his presence known. His name is Matteo and, true to the meaning of his name, he is "a gift from God."
A few weeks ago the newest baby in the family was ready to make a debut. Everyone was gathered at the hospital, waiting. After a few hours we decided to let the mother rest and get a quick bite to eat and, as often happens, that was the time the baby decided to arrive. So we raced back to the hospital wondering what the next hours would bring.
To my surprise I was invited into the room where the baby was to be born. This was never part of the plan and it was somewhat frightening. I hesitated, took a deep breath, said a quick prayer and entered the room where the doctor put me to work assisting my daughter.
I held onto her hand tightly, first out of fear and then in a genuine effort to help this baby come into the world. It was an amazing experience that almost defies description, one I will cherish forever and will use as a personal benchmark to return to whenever I am swayed to question God.
Holding little Matteo only a few minutes after his birth was wonderful and has continued to be heartwarming over these past few weeks. Yet, I find myself wanting to protect him, wrap him up and keep him safe. The usual, and very normal, "what ifs" have been playing themselves in my head. He is so small and vulnerable and the world feels so big and full of foolishness and fear. I wish there was a way to insulate him from the difficulties that life will bring his way.
I want him to inherit a world that is peaceful and kind, not constantly at war or living in fear of violence. I hope that, when he is old enough to understand what is on television, what he sees will be less about silliness and more about what matters in life. I think about when he goes to school, encountering unreasonable teachers or schoolyard bullies, and I just want to hold him closer.
While listening to this past week's Gospel from Luke about the miraculous feeding of 5,000, it dawned on me that trusting in God has to be a priority. It brought back memories of my grandmother and mother repeating the words, "God will provide." It is true; God will watch over his family and will allow him to develop as he is supposed to.
I cannot control what happens to this baby. I can only love him, with patience and trust in God's divine love and care, and enjoy Matteo's little sounds and movements and the interaction of his parents with him and his older brother. It is time to be grateful for the gift that God has given us in this little boy. Anne Hansen is a parent education consultant and a parishioner at Blessed Junípero Serra Church, Camarillo. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com. |