Doubt is a tricky subject in most religions. It would appear to be the opposite of faith --- faith believes in God while doubt questions God's existence.

However, Catholic writer G.K. Chesterton said, "Only materialists and madmen have no doubts." His point, I think, is that doubt involves questioning. If we never doubt our assumptions, whether about God or anything else, we will be rigid in our thinking, rigid to the point of fanaticism.

Today's Gospel reading features one of the more famous characters of the New Testament: "doubting" Thomas. The disciple Thomas says he will not believe in the risen Christ until he sees for himself, complete with the pierced flesh in Christ's hands and side.

Later, Jesus appears to the Twelve, and beckons Thomas to see and touch those wounds. Thomas is convinced that Jesus is indeed alive, and simply proclaims "My Lord and my God."

Christ does not criticize Thomas for doubting. He rewards him. The fixed beliefs of the religious leaders of the day, who could not open their minds to a Messiah outside their prejudiced expectations, blinds them. Doubt allows the eyes of Thomas to be opened and enlightened.

I've often thought that "doubting" Thomas has been misnamed. He should be called "honest" Thomas. Thomas is honest and transparent in his doubts and his questions. He is very honest about his incredulity. More importantly, Thomas refuses to base his faith merely on the words or even the experience of others. He insists on experiencing the risen Christ himself.

We should all do the same. We cannot sustain a life of faith based on the experiences or proclamations of others. We too must experience the risen Christ ourselves.

Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote that "There lives more faith in honest doubt, believe me, than in half the creeds." Honest doubt is, this quote suggests, a component of faith. If we are not honest about what we don't believe, how can we be honest when we do believe?

It is fascinating to me that the church places this reading just after Easter Sunday, when millions go to Mass for the first time of the year, not to be seen again until Christmas. Perhaps the message of today's Gospel is meant to be evangelistic to those whose faith has waned or who avoid church because they have more questions than answers about their beliefs. The message is to keep questioning, honestly, and to be open to having your questions answered.

We all tend to wonder how God is present when our lives seem to be falling apart. Isn't faith supposed to make life easier? We all tend to wonder how God is present when suffering and pain seems so random, when seemingly innocent children are harmed while the callous rich prosper and prosper.

Today's Gospel tells us that Jesus will answer our honest doubts and questions. A question we must ask ourselves, though, is whether we prepared to accept his answers, and acknowledge his role in our lives? Are we prepared to say, if our doubts and questions are satisfied, "My Lord and my God"?

Bill Peatman writes from Napa.