I remember when I fell in love with my wife and she with me. It was a shocking experience. I never expected anyone would find me so desirable, see all my strengths, and tolerate my weaknesses.

It was wonderful, but also frightening. I was sure I would do something to screw it up, and she would realize that I was not so lovable after all.

We learn to expect certain things in our lives. We expect people to behave in a certain way. We expect our employers, family members, friends and acquaintances to behave as they have behaved before. We expect our jobs, churches and other organizations to function as they have in the past. When something unexpected happens, it can be very uncomfortable.

Falling in love is one example. Losing love is another. People show themselves to be capable of things we did not expect. We find ourselves doing thing we never imagined. It can be frightening. It can be thrilling. It can be devastating.

In today's Gospel reading Jesus is teaching in the synagogue, and people are shocked that the person who has grown up in their community is capable of such wisdom and knowledge. "Isn't this the son of Joseph?" they ask. They are accustomed to Jesus behaving in a different way. They are accustomed to God working in a different way. Jesus is not a fiery prophet, or a mighty military leader. Until now he had apparently behaved in a very ordinary way.

Jesus points out that God has never been bound by human expectations. "There were many widows in Israel in the days of Elijah," he says. "It was to none of these that Elijah was sent, but only to a widow in Zarephath in the land of Sidon. Again, there were many lepers in Israel during the time of Elisha the prophet; yet not one of them was cleansed, but only Naaman the Syrian."

God is not required to work through the religious positions and institutions we create. Of course, this too can make us very uncomfortable. We might like to think that if we play by our own self imposed rules, we will find God's favor.

Conformity, however, will only take us so far. We must be open to God working outside the plans we make for Him. Our religious observance may be well intended, but they do not obligate God to act as we expect.

The good news is that God will work and is working in unexpected ways. We need to keep our eyes and hearts open so that we can enjoy the experience. We may fall in love, find a new career, experience peace of mind we thought impossible, and it all might happen through apparently random acts, or through someone we've known all our lives.

In the end, we cannot deter God. We cannot, as I have often feared, screw it up. God's love is unswerving and infinite. We just have to be open to the unexpected.

Bill Peatman writes from Napa.