For many Catholic families, including my own, the parish is where we go for spiritual direction and guidance. It is also a source of social interaction and education.

It is at the parish that we baptize our children, celebrate weddings and anniversaries, and where we go to mourn and memorialize our loved ones. The parish gives people a common ground to come together with others to worship, pray and navigate the continually challenging paths of life.

In 1989 the University of Notre Dame published an extensive document reviewing every aspect of parish life. The study concluded that the liturgy is central to parish spirituality and community experience. Nearly two decades later this remains true; prayer is our common connection.

Yet, the parish is an organization that is formed, developed and maintained by human beings, therefore displaying, at times, the shortcomings that human behavior manifests. Patience is required to participate in parish life as parish communities are made up of diverse groups of people. We sometimes forget that, and we get annoyed when the things we think are important are not seen as a priority within the parish.

Every parish has problems --- or, better, challenges. Some certainly offer more services to the community, are more welcoming and celebrate more energizing liturgies. They may have pastors and lay staff whose talents are exceptional allowing them to build large, vital communities of faith with programs that address many different needs. Yet, whatever the formula for success, these parishes still face periodic difficulties.

There are those who believe a parish is only as good as its leader. However, in this age of increased lay involvement in every aspect of Church and parish life, there is the opportunity for each interested Catholic to make a difference and assist in building relationships and trust within the parish, and between the parish staff and the larger community.

It takes prudence and courage to speak up when a parish is experiencing difficulties. Some parishioners walk away in frustration; others complain to anyone who will listen. There are other alternatives, beginning with prayer, patience and an honest attempt to dialogue. By respectfully working with each other and parish staff parishioners can start new ministries or revitalize those that might have foundered.

In his book "Excellent Catholic Parishes" (Paulist Press, 2001), Paul Wilkes explains there are no "best" parishes, just some who seem to be in "the process of becoming a place of refuge and welcome, a spiritual fountain where the thirsty may drink, a replica of God on earth."

Creating excellent parishes, he says, requires trust in the people of the parish and in God. "Excellent parishes" see and seek the best in everyone. They also recognize that times have changed. They welcome diversity, multi-cultural interaction and are willing to move out of their own comfort zones in terms of acting and thinking. They take risks as Jesus did in caring for the poor and marginalized. While they understand their financial responsibilities, they also understand that the parish is not a business.

According to Wilkes, excellent parishes are those who consider adopting the same goal Dorothy Day and Peter Maurin did when they founded the Catholic Worker movement: "creating places where it is easy to be good."

The number of lay Catholics currently in ministerial training, Wilkes says, represent the most educated Catholic laypeople in history. This, coupled with large numbers of dedicated volunteers at most parishes, offers hope for the future of Catholic parishes, hope that our children will experience the best of what parishes have to offer.

Anne Hansen is a parent education consultant and a parishioner at Blessed Junípero Serra Church, Camarillo. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com.