Nearly ten years ago, I quit a very good job to take another, even better job. That's not a very momentous occasion. It happens all the time.

But one month after I joined the new company, our president announced that we were going out of business, effective immediately. I was crushed. I was convinced that this was a terrible disaster. No one could convince me otherwise.

A few months later, I found myself an even better situation, one that I would never have found had my previous company remained intact. That disaster changed everything for the better.

In today's Gospel reading, a young man finds out that his fiancé is pregnant with a child that is not his own. Most of us would consider this to be a pretty major disaster. I mean, it is one thing to like your job. It is quite another thing to be in love with someone who you think is completely devoted to you. When Joseph finds that Mary is pregnant, no doubt he was devastated at the news. We're not told of his emotional reaction, only that he agreed "to divorce her quietly." Clearly it was not a situation he was prepared to accept.

Later, an angel of the Lord intervenes to let Joseph in on the story --- that Mary has not been unfaithful to him, but rather that she has been supremely faithful to God. Joseph chose to accept this message, and to believe in the fidelity of his fiancé. He would, of course, go on to experience that what seemed like a complete disaster was the beginning of the most wonderful event in the world.

As Advent comes to a close, and we see the beauty and goodness of the season, we want very much to internalize the love and joy that it represents. Unfortunately for many of us, there are disasters happening in our lives and our world while we try and embrace the hope and the healing that the coming of Christ offers. We need his presence in our world. We need his presence in our lives.

As we anticipate his arrival, it is helpful to reflect on the first Advent and how it wasn't one long ascending crescendo of joy. There were moments of intense pain, fear, doubt, and peril. There is no reason to think that our own experience of Jesus Christ will be any different.

We are challenged to believe that the disasters we experience are not the end of the story, and that God might be working through these seemingly hopeless situations. We are challenged to believe that something wonderful lies ahead, something we can't even imagine in our current circumstances.

Joseph was able to believe that God was at work not in spite of the "disaster" in his life, but through the disaster in his life. We may not have the benefit of an angel of the Lord to come and explain how God is at work. We may have to experience it to understand it. But we can, by faith, believe it is true.

Holy Family
Family life can be wonderful. It can also be very challenging. Whether raising children or dealing with parents and siblings, there are plenty of opportunities for both joy and sorrow in our families. Confusion, frustration, and anxiety are common experiences in family life.

The same was true for the Holy Family. In today's gospel reading, Jesus' parents experience all of these emotions. They are returning home from their annual Passover pilgrimage to Jerusalem when they realize that Jesus stayed behind. This is not "Home Alone," for it appears that Jesus intentionally remained in Jerusalem. "Son, why have you done this to us?" Jesus' mother asks. "Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety." It's all there: confusion, frustration, and anxiety.

This is good news for those of us who have felt all these things in our own families and relationships. We are not alone. It shows us that the celebration of Holy Family is not a celebration of perfection. If the Holy Family struggled with confusion, frustration and anxiety, then so can we.

The Holy Family may not be perfect, but it is faithful. We don't know how much Jesus or his parents understood his destiny before he began his ministry. No doubt their lives were full of perplexing experiences, uncertain expectations, and changing realities. The same is true for all of us. We all change as we grow, both young and old alike. We will learn more about God, ourselves, and one another. We all struggle to understand our destinies. And we struggle too with when to support our family members' decisions, and when to challenge those decisions.

It's easy to look back to an earlier time and imagine that family life was easier then, with more love and loyalty in homes and relationships. Perhaps in 20 years, people will look back and reminisce about how sweet and simple life was in the early years of the 21st century.

The holidays are a particularly intense time for many. It is fitting that we look at the struggles and successes of the Holy Family at this time. We are not called to be perfect but to be faithful --- to deal with the events that take place in our lives and our families as best we can. There will be moments of unthinkable joy and terrible pain. That is part of what it means to be human, and part of what it means to be Christian.

At Christmas we celebrate the fact that Christ came not to release us from reality, but to illuminate reality. In him we see a way to transcend the pain and joy that this world brings us. If we follow that light, we may not find perfection, but we will find a way to accept and embrace the families and lives that God has given us.

Bill Peatman writes from Napa.