Bartimaeus, the central character in today's Gospel reading, ought to be the Patron Saint for the Desperate. Penniless and blind, begging for money to get by, Bartimaeus is the first century equivalent of today's median pan handlers. Instead of a cardboard sign reading, "Will Work for Food," Bartimaeus communicates his message by crying out to people as they pass by. When he hears that Jesus, the rumored wonder worker of Palestine, was in the area, Bartimaeus will not be denied. "Jesus, son of David, have pity on me," he screams.

People are embarrassed, and ask him to quiet down. He screams louder still. "Son of David, have pity on me."

Jesus hears the blind man's cries, and calls for him. Bartimaeus throws off his cloak and sprints (still blind) towards Jesus' voice. "Master," Bartimaeus pleads, "I want to see."

I like to imagine Bartimaeus' attempt to locate Jesus when Jesus calls him. He probably stumbled into a few people before he managed to connect with Jesus. Perhaps Bartimaeus thought each person he contacted was Jesus. He had only heard his voice. He couldn't yet see him.

Desperation breeds the kind of reckless tenacity that Bartimaeus displays. He has, after all, nothing to lose by being loud and aggressive in pursuing his desire. Things can't get much worse. He certainly seems to know that he is not going to improve his life much simply by continuing to beg for spare change. He doesn't want to merely eek out a living. He wants to be transformed.

Most of us have probably cried out in similar desperation for the healing touch of God, most likely in a time of crisis. We want our loved ones to be cured. We want our broken families or relationships to be mended. We want to find some measure of contentment or happiness in our own souls.

It can be frustratingly painful to know that Jesus is near and capable of healing us, but seems to pass us by. But Bartimaeus is not in crisis. He has no doubt been blind and poor for some time. When he senses an opportunity for real, lasting, comprehensive change, he pursues it with all his might.

Today's Gospel reading invites us to do the same. If you're like me you tend to settle for what is comfortable in life. Your life may not be what you truly want in your heart of hearts, but it is manageable. It may be a job, or a relationship, or a ministry you are involved in --- something you sense could be more exciting and life giving. What is needed is not a small adjustment to our situations, but transformation. The good news is that Jesus offers us this transformation.

When we finally hear the voice of God, it may take us a while to isolate its true source. We too can be impaired in our spiritual vision. While we may know what we are attracted to in the Christian faith, it is another matter to find the presence of Christ for ourselves, and to experience his transformation power.

We must keep crying out to him in prayer, keep reading about him in Scripture, keep experiencing him in the sacraments, so that we will recognize his call, his message, and his instructions for us. Then, by the grace of God, our desperation might be turned to celebration.

Bill Peatman writes from Napa.