The Catholic Church begins the month of November with two celebrations rooted in the early years of the Church. All Saints Day, on November 1, is set aside to honor saints known and unknown, followed by on November 2 by All Souls Day for which many parishes have special liturgies (on this day and throughout the month) to bring together in prayer those who have lost a loved one.

My family will join those who lost someone precious this year. Mimi --- my husband's mother --- died last week. On October 6, Mimi celebrated her 79th birthday, and four days later marked 61 years of marriage. Two weeks later she died, unexpectedly but peacefully as she sat in her chair.

Her husband had left her in the kitchen to tend to a few chores and returned a short while later to find her looking comfortably asleep --- but he quickly realized that was not the case. He called the paramedics who came, as did the parish priest. He then called his son and daughter, and the process of preparing to bury a loved one was set into motion.

I called each of our children and their response was the same as mine --- disbelief. We had just been with her and celebrated her birthday. The night before she died she called her great-grandson to wish him a happy third birthday and then drove to In 'N Out to pick up hamburgers for dinner. All was as it should be. Then quickly it changed; instead of planning for the next family gathering, we were planning a funeral.

It is, as many know, an exercise that feels unreal. How can it be that we are choosing music and readings for a funeral liturgy for a person who so recently was so alive and so much a part of our lives, who yesterday was laughing and looking forward to whatever life would bring next?

We have asked these questions a number of times over the past week. We cried when noticing Mimi's purse and slippers in the dining room. We looked at the refrigerator in her kitchen covered with pictures of children and grandchildren and their graduations, weddings and birthdays. We looked around the house at all her things and at the special touches she brought to the house --- and we cried all over again.

We were comforted by the stories of how she touched people. My sister called to say how Mimi had been a part of her life since she was a little girl and reminisced about things I had long ago forgotten. She was a woman who always radiated a positive attitude despite health problems that would have driven most of us to depression and self-pity.

Family was her priority. As her grandchildren grew into adulthood, she kept track of their lives and, as we found out at her funeral, she shared their stories often.

Her funeral Mass was celebrated at St. Edward the Confessor Church in Dana Point, where behind the altar is a breathtaking view of the Pacific Ocean. This lovely setting as well as the organized, efficient and kind help of the parish bereavement team helped make Mimi's funeral a true celebration of her life. The music, the powerful readings that spoke to her life, the homily and the entire liturgy offered the family and friends hope and left them believing she was at peace with God. While there were tears, there was more sharing of "Mimi stories" and laughter at the lunch that followed.

Our family now settles into a place so many have gone before: reorganizing without a person who means so much to us, and who quite literally kept us together. She never forgot a birthday and joined in celebrating holidays to their fullest, especially Christmas. We will surely cry again when the traditions she began for the family continue without her. Something tells me, however, we will smile, even joke about some of the traditions --- just as Mimi would have wanted it.

November 2 is a special day of remembering every grandma and grandpa, mother and father, son and daughter, brother and sister who is no longer with us. Here's to a few tears and many smiles as we join together on this day to pray for those we love so dearly and miss so much.

Anne Hansen is a parent education consultant and a parishioner at Blessed Junípero Serra Church, Camarillo. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com.