I read an article recently about a service that trains men how to find a girlfriend. The men are basically encouraged to ask as many women out as possible, assuming that sooner or later they will find "the one." They learn conversational techniques so that they won't make the classic relationship mistakes --- talking too much about themselves, making inappropriate comments, etc.

In today's first reading, we see how God provided a soul mate for Adam. God cast Adam into a deep sleep, and fashioned the first woman from one of Adam's ribs. When Adam awoke he knew at once that this was "the one": "This one, at last," Adam says, "is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh."

Adam didn't find what he was looking for until he gave up his search. Only then did God create the perfect partner. The same may be true for us, not just in relationships but in all areas of our lives. How much do we try by sheer will power to find what we want, searching relentlessly? How much do we "let go" and allow God to provide something better than we could have ever imagined.

I'm not very good at waiting for God to provide for me. When I am insecure about anything --- money, a job, a relationship --- I try and resolve the situation as quickly as possible. I will make all the phone calls, appointments, interviews, or whatever else is necessary, to address the need that is in front of me. I won't go to sleep. In fact, my worries usually prevent me from sleeping.

In today's Gospel reading Jesus announces, "Whoever does not accept the Kingdom of God like a little child shall not enter it." As children, some of the best things in our lives have happened while we were sleeping. Santa Claus, the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny all come during the night, to surprise us with delightful treats and gifts.

A child, like Adam, welcomes what he is given. A child accepts love and goodness without question and without an agenda. Children want to believe in Santa Claus and the tooth fairy. It doesn't occur to them that these magical, loving, generous characters do not exist.

We have a hard time accepting the love of God, accepting that the ultimate magical character really does exist and really does want to fill our lives with wonderful gifts. We think it is impossible. We might think we don't deserve it. We certainly have a hard time waiting for God to give us these gifts.

So we work very hard to provide for ourselves. We might need to stop trying to take care of ourselves so desperately so that we can see that God does indeed want to provide for us.

The risk, of course, if we only take care of ourselves, is that we cannot enter the kingdom of God because we cannot see God's unconditional love. We cannot see it because we have kept ourselves awake for too long, and have not been able to put ourselves in a position to receive God's gifts.

We need to be more childlike --- not childish but childlike --- and expect and allow God to take care of us and give us all that we truly need.

Bill Peatman writes from Napa.