For parents, there is something invigorating about beginning a new school year. Despite the challenge of filling out forms in triplicate, covering books and setting rules for homework, returning to the routine of the school year is comforting and hopeful.

The start of the new school year brings new resolutions --- about organizing better, prioritizing smarter --- and a new beginning. It's a chance to start over, a chance to make up for the previous year's mistakes, a chance to excel.

Few among us can claim stress-free school years. Parents sometimes envy other families whose children appear to sail thorough academics, athletics and/or the social aspects of school. In reality, though, at one time or another every family and every student finds some part of school life hard to handle, even overwhelming.

One of parenting's toughest lessons to learn is that every child has unique gifts and talents, as well as their own likes and dislikes. How many children have labored over piano lessons or sweated through dancing lessons or struggled on the basketball court only to please Mom or Dad? It is our job as parents to help our children discover and then build on their strengths.

Not all children are gifted academically, athletically or artistically. Not every child can be on the honor roll or receive awards. When a child struggles, it is not always because he or she is not working hard enough. Sometimes, more often than some of us want to admit, the child needs help. I learned rather late in my parenting career that tutors can be lifesavers.

All parents want their children to succeed. So how can we help? For starters, teach them to manage their time. Monitor their after-school activities and limit your high school students' work hours. Set priorities as a family --- and then, follow through and be consistent in holding everyone (including Mom and Dad) accountable. Offer reasonable praise, hold realistic expectations, and keep in mind that your children's accomplishments are theirs --- not yours.

And be involved in your children's lives, while understanding that a first grade parent will have a different level of involvement then the parent of a high school sophomore. (This is a rule that mothers tend to bend more often than fathers.) There is a time when we can (and should) ease up on checking homework, planning social activities and being visible at our child's school. Mom's smiling face and helping hand, welcome and often necessary in grammar school, can be intrusive in high school.

Helping our children find their own way is never easy, but always necessary. As part of the ongoing balancing act that parents perform in raising children, it requires a great deal of patience, a well-developed sense of humor and, always, prayer.

Anne Hansen is a parent education consultant and a parishioner at Blessed Junípero Serra Church, Camarillo. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com.