For most children, Father's Day is a day for family cookouts, throwing a few hoops, or playing cricket in the back yard. Kids spend this special, warm, June afternoon hanging out with dad and celebrating that they're his kids.
But for some children, Father's Day is a reminder of an absent father. Still puzzled about what went wrong, they dismiss the day with shame and try to get on with their lives carrying a big void in their hearts. These are the children of incarcerated fathers. Their present is bleak. Their future is daunting. According to the California Department of Corrections, many children who have either parent in prison develop emotional and behavioral problems, and it is estimated that 30-50 percent of boys will be incarcerated themselves.
Concerned about these children's reality and its perpetuating effects, Women and Criminal Justice, headed by St. Joseph Carondelet Sister Suzanne Jabro, created Get On The Bus seven years ago. This unique program has brought 583 children to visit their incarcerated moms on Mother's Day, and this year the organization piloted two Father's Day events for the first time. "Get On The Bus believes that children must see, touch and talk to their parents, even if they are incarcerated," said Sister Jabro.
Children from different parts of the state, accompanied by their mothers or caregivers, traveled by bus June 16 to the California Correctional Institution, a prison of more than 5,000 inmates in Tehapachi, (north of Lancaster). Deacon Clyde Davis, the Catholic chaplain, greeted these kids, many of whom had not seen their dads in years. During the four-hour visit, parents and children shared a lunch, got their pictures taken - one for dad, one for the kids - played games, and made amends. There was too much to talk about and too little time, but for many children, this was their only opportunity to see their dad. An eleven-year old girl had never met her father and it took her a while to come out from behind the volunteer. A preteen boy hugged his dad and cried during the entire visit. When this illegal immigrant finishes serving his sentence ten years from now, he will be deported and might never see his son again.
Then, on June 25, another bus departed to the California Men's Colony in San Luis Obispo, a 7,000 plus inmates facility. After the entry process, children and parents sat around tables and shared a lunch, some getting involved in serious conversations, other just playing scrabble. A father of four is scheduled to be released in 2033. The oldest child will be 42 when her dad comes home. A sixteen-year old girl talked to her dad about her plans to go to college and then to law school. His face lit up with pride. And for a good while the room was filled with quality conversations, deep bonding, and strong feelings.
"Children have a right to a lifelong relationship with their parents even if they are incarcerated," said Sister Jabro. "We talk about rehabilitation, but if parents don't know their kids, how can they relate to them when they are released? How can they parent them properly so the kids don't end up in prison themselves?"
At the end of the day, the children were taken to Nativity Catholic Church for a special dinner with volunteers and the local community. A parishioner said, "Matthew 25 is a scripture passage that relates to visiting people in prison … when I was in prison you visited me. And I am grateful because Get on the Bus has given me the avenue to visit incarcerated people." On the way home, the children were given letters from their dads. St. Joseph of Carondelet Sister Theresa Harpin, local coordinator, said of the whole event, "It was powerful."
The Get On The Bus Father's Day events were possible with the cooperation of the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation and the local wardens and staff. Get On The Bus is sponsored by Women and Criminal Justice and operates entirely on donations and the help of volunteers, churches, organizations, individuals and children from all over California. For more information, or to volunteer, or to make a donation, visit www.gotb.net. María Amparo Escandón, author of best-selling novels, "Esperanza's Box of Saints" and "González & Daughter Trucking Co.," is a regular volunteer with Get On The Bus.
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