If you've ever participated in a 12-step program, you know the astonishing power of these small communities. Complete strangers, who don't even know one another's last names, find tremendous strength and healing through sharing their stories of success and living. Many people have commented that this is what church should be like, where people are honest, where judgment is forbidden, and where the common bond is our need for redemption.

Community can be hard to come by, even in churches. We are a culture that celebrates independence, not interdependence. We might like the tune, "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother," but it was "My Way" that Frank Sinatra used to introduce as the "real" national anthem of the United States. We are taught to be independent, we are rewarded for being self reliant, and yet the Gospel calls us to love our neighbors as ourselves.

On Trinity Sunday, we celebrate the reality that God is a community. God is three persons existing in some kind of cosmic communion, not a single rugged individual.

We're told in the Gospels that Jesus prayed often, demonstrating his dependence on God the Father for strength and guidance. We're also told that God continues to work in this world and in our lives through the Holy Spirit.

It is easy to think that community is for people who can't make it on their own, who don't have the courage to do it "My Way." However, if God is a community, then this doesn't hold true. If God is a community, then we who are made in God's image may not be able to be fully human without being united to other humans. If God does not go it alone, who are we to think that we can or should?

If you're like me, you are attracted to the benefits of community. I would love to have people to rely on in times of trouble, and to share with in times of joy. On the other hand, I don't necessarily want to make the commitment to be that kind of person to others. I am afraid of being inconvenienced, or even overwhelmed, by the needs of others if I promise to be there when they need me.

In the end, though, I think it is me who misses out in this lifestyle of self-protection. It means that I am alone when I am in pain, and I am alone when I experience success. And I am starting to change.

I was asked by a friend, "How long do you have to keep going to your 12-step program?" I laughed, because he implied that it is some kind of detention program where release is eagerly anticipated. I told him that I don't want to stop going.

In fact, it has become my favorite time of the week. It is the one hour of the week when I feel normal, because everyone is honest about their flaws and faults. It is a great experience, and one that I would encourage anyone to explore.

We are united by our common need for God, and our common failure to be the people God created us to be. We cannot do it alone.

Bill Peatman writes from Napa.