If popular magazine articles are indicative of current American thought, then as a nation we are in hot pursuit of happiness. Recently while grocery shopping, I noticed that nearly every magazine cover at the checkout counter boasted an article on happiness.

I confess to buying two of the magazines thinking they might contain something profound. The articles were predictable. They offered suggestions on slowing down, saying "no" more often when asked to do things, having hormone levels checked (the magazines cater to women) spending more time in the sunlight and eating right. The advice was sound but certainly not worth the price of the magazines. It was self-centered with no consideration for getting out into the world, building relationships and doing good.

At some point in life, most of us recognize that happiness comes from relationships. It is the interaction we have with each other that makes a difference. No amount of money, power or prestige can bring the happiness that positive relationships bring.

Would you trade a relationship with a friend or family member for a diamond ring, a fancy car or a totally renovated house? It is the human connection that gives us the ultimate happiness.

There is great happiness in reaching out to others who need our help, whether we know them or not. Sometimes, reaching out is required to address family relationships and rifts that need to be sorted out. Reaching outside of our circle of comfort can be intimidating --- but it can also bring new relationships that increase happiness.

It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of self-indulgence that offers momentary good feelings --- shopping, for example. The same can be said for food, alcohol, drugs or gambling. But the happiness we think we'll find in indulging our desires lasts only for a brief time, if at all.

Existing in a continual "haze of happiness" is unrealistic, yet many of us pursue it as if it were possible. If, however, we are living our lives with fear in our midst --- fear of poverty, or fear of those who are different --- happiness will remain elusive. It is impossible to be afraid and happy at the same time.

We have become polarized within our political system and at times within our church. We take sides for or against something and close our ears and hearts to listening to any view other than our own. This strains relationships, which in turn contributes to a state of unhappiness.

We can continue to read magazine articles for "secrets" to happiness. Or we can read something else --- Scripture. I read this in the first Letter of John:

"…I am not writing out a new rule for you to obey, for it is an old one you have always had, right from the start. You have heard it all before. Yet it is always new …and as we obey this commandment, to love one another, the darkness in our lives disappears" (1 John 2:7-8).

I would choose this advice over a magazine article anytime.

Anne Hansen is a parent education consultant and a parishioner at Blessed Junípero Serra Church, Camarillo. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com.