In today's Gospel reading, Jesus raises Lazarus, dead for four days, out of the grave and back to life. I've always thought this was a nice story about the power of life over death. But I've always thought of it as just that --- a foreshadowing of the resurrection of Jesus Christ and the promise that there is a life after biological death.

This time, though, I see it as more than that. There are so many types of death that we experience. The loss of loved ones. The loss of love. The loss of relationships. The loss of a job. The loss of financial security. These events and experiences can cause me to question whether God is truly able to overcome death.

"Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died," Lazarus' sister tells Jesus when he arrives. I know I have felt this way many times when something unwanted happened in my life. When I lose a job, I wonder where God is. When a relationship is in trouble, I wonder where God is. When a loved one is sick, I wonder where God is. When emotional pain seems greater than I can bear, and I drive myself to distraction with worry, I wonder where God is. My faith in times of trouble seems so feeble.

"I am the resurrection and the life," Jesus declares. I know this is true, but I don't always feel it in my own circumstances. In the case of Lazarus, his sisters and family had to experience the pain and loss of death in order to experience Christ's power over death. Perhaps the same is true for us --- that the pain and loss that we experience may help us turn to God and experience the love and power of God in a way we never thought possible.

The Gospels show us that God refuses to be limited by our expectations, much to the dismay of people who struggled to understand Jesus' ministry and message. Jesus spent time with the wrong kind of people, didn't follow the religious traditions of the day, and demonstrated a healing power and compassion that had never been dreamed of before.

Lent is a time for us to examine our lives and acknowledge the areas where we experienced loss of life, loss of hope and loss of faith. If you're like me, this is not always easy, and it is not always pleasant. It is not easy to admit that I have hurt myself and others, and that I have failed to be the kind of person I want to be. It is also not easy to admit that I have questioned whether God is really there for me when circumstances in my life do not turn out as I expect.

The good news is that Jesus is more powerful than our faults and our failures. Sometimes we need to experience these failures in order to experience God's love and healing in new ways.

Today's Gospel tells me that I need to be open to God working through the events that I consider so bleak and hopeless, and to allow my experience and expectations of God to be transformed.

Bill Peatman writes from Napa.