"It's time to get down to the heart of the matter," singer Don Henley wrote in 1990. "And I think it's about forgiveness…even if you don't love me any more."

Forgiveness (the title of the aforementioned song) is indeed at the heart of the matter. It is certainly at the heart of the Christian faith. The church teaches that in Christ our sins are forgiven --- that his death and resurrection represent the punishment for all our sins and reconciliation with God.

But how we forgive others, and receive forgiveness ourselves, are also at the heart of our lives as Christians. If we hold on to the pain someone has caused, if we refuse to forgive someone who has harmed us, we risk trapping ourselves in our own pain.

I'll be the first to admit that I find forgiveness extremely difficult. I mean, it's easy to forgive someone for breaking a glass, spilling on your carpet, or denting your car. That's not what I'm talking about. The kind of forgiveness that is difficult for me is to forgive someone who has hurt me, rejected me, or betrayed me.

The pain can be so huge. When something you've relied on for strength --- the commitment of a spouse, a parent, a child, a friend --- is taken away, the experience can be devastating. Forgiveness, moving on, is very difficult. Especially if, as the song says, the other person doesn't love you anymore.

It seems to me that forgiveness is a way to heal relationships, but also a way to heal ourselves. We are called to forgive even if the person who hurt us isn't sorry. The relationship may not be restored. But we are still called to renounce our anger, our desire for revenge, or any inclination to hurt the other person in return.

When I am angry at someone at home, or at work, I am often also angry with people who have nothing to do with the situation. I'll find myself yelling at my children because of some way I was bullied at work. I must forgive. In my experience, forgiving someone doesn't always make me hurt less. It just makes me less likely to hurt someone else.

We can forgive because God forgives us. In today's first reading, God gives the sign of the rainbow, after the flood, as a promise to never destroy the world again. Instead of wiping out evil with a flood, God will transform evil through the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

"Christ suffered for sins once," we're told in the second reading, "the righteous for the sake of the unrighteous, that he might lead you to God." Our sins are forgiven. So are those of the people who harmed us. Holding onto our own anger will provide no solace.

Today's readings close with Jesus' announcement that Kingdom of God is here. The presence of Jesus Christ opens a door to the experience of God that we are all invited to enter.

This is the message of the Gospel. This is the message of Lent. This is the true heart of the matter --- God loves us. God forgives us. God welcomes us. In spite of our flaws. In spite of our sins.

Bill Peatman writes from Napa.