"When did you first notice Katherine crossing her eyes?" the ophthalmologist asks.
"Oh, I don't know," I reply. "This summer, probably."
"OK," he responds. "Is it snowing outside?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Well, I was wondering what you were doing for the last six months," he scolds me. "The earlier we catch this, the better the success rate."
Ouch. I realize that sometimes I'm a bit too laissez-faire with my children. Bedtime rituals aren't exactly rituals, hats and gloves are rarely on. But the truth is that my husband and I have been through so many developmental delays with our children from not talking to, not walking to, not using the potty on time that, well, I just stopped worrying so much and decided I didn't need to fix everything immediately or sooner.
I walked away from the appointment, cross-eyed, 2-year-old Katherine in my arms, feeling like an amateur mom.
I wish there was a course or support group for moms like me who need a map to navigate the maze of parenting advice in books and magazines. One search on Amazon.com for "potty-training" results in 264 book titles, each purporting a different technique. One pediatrician preaches the "cry it out" approach to babies who wake throughout the night, while another "expert" suggests such cruelty leads to emotional problems.
Four years into this parenting thing, I realize that most moms just wing it a lot of the time. Or so say the honest ones.
But I also know that the majority of us would welcome a course on the basics: how to get a 4-year-old to sit at the dinner table and eat some of the healthy stuff on his plate; how best to respond to a 2-year-old who calls you "stupid"; and how to pass on the faith in language toddlers understand.
"I'm so tempted to ditch the Catholics and join the nondenominational Christian church in our neighborhood," my best friend told me recently. "They offer parenting classes that you can attend while your kids go to Bible study."
I would participate in practically any activity that had built-in child care. And especially a class where I might hear something useful like the importance of consistency in child-rearing and how to recognize and trust the maternal instinct.
What a great way to attract young adults who are starving for solicited (versus unsolicited) advice on everything from dealing with a difficult preschool teacher to how best to occupy a 3-year-old at Mass.
Offering Parenting 101 to young moms and dads is one step Catholics might take to keeping more of them around. Therese J. Borchard is a columnist with Catholic News Service. |