Women and men who have experienced the pain and anguish of having had an abortion --- or being involved in one --- find the annual archdiocesan liturgy for the unborn to be a source of hope and grace.

"People feel the healing touch of Christ during this Mass," said Immaculate Heart of Mary Sister Rita Callanan, who offers post-abortion counseling to women through Project Rachel, a program sponsored by the Right to Life League of Southern California.

The fourth annual Requiem Mass for the Unborn at the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels, Jan. 21 at 7:30 p.m., will be celebrated in memory of all who have died from abortion in the past year. The Mass is commemorated every January near the January 22, 1973 anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court decision that effectively legalized abortion.

The liturgy offers those who regret having participated in an abortion the opportunity to begin reconciling themselves with God, their community, their family and their unborn children. Relatives of women who have had abortions, like parents, grandparents and siblings, also are helped to be healed of their loss.

A candle lighting ceremony towards the end of the Mass dramatically illustrates the loss of life to abortion in Los Angeles on a single day. The lights in the Cathedral are turned off as scores of people, young and old, process down the aisles with lit candles in memory of the tiny lives that were conceived but then aborted.

Last year, said Sister Callanan, a teenager and her mother were among the worshippers healing from the pain of abortion. The teenager, who hadn't confided in her mother when she got pregnant and had an abortion, had since told her mother. At the liturgy the two of them walked together and placed a candle on the altar in memory of the lost child and grandchild.

Abortion also affects siblings very profoundly, said Sister Callanan, as children miss the brother or sister who was conceived but never born. Last year one surprised mother turned to Sister Callanan for counseling because her son kept saying he was missing his sister, even though the mother hadn't told the son about the abortion.

Sister Callanan said that numerous times it has been observed that children somehow know that someone is missing from the family. In this particular family, the mother acknowledged the abortion to her son, and then the two of them attended last year's Mass to bring a candle to the altar and honor the sister that was never allowed to be born.

"The pain is never, never going to go away. It is eased by the fact that there is hope after abortion," said Sister Callanan.

The hope, wrote Pope John Paul II in a 1999 message to women who have had abortions, is that the unborn child is now with God.

"The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the sacrament of reconciliation," the Holy Father wrote. "You will come to understand that nothing is definitely lost and you will also be able to ask forgiveness from your child, who is now living in the Lord."

While most post-abortion counseling focuses on women who have had abortions, fathers also experience severe trauma.

Deacon Thomas Brandlin, who also works with Project Rachel to provide post-abortion counseling to couples and to men, said men often experience two emotions following an abortion --- rage and guilt.

"They are furious because either they weren't told about the abortion or they had no say in it, and they really wanted the child. They feel betrayed," said Deacon Brandlin. "Or they feel guilt because they promoted the abortion or did nothing to prevent it. Now they've seen what damage it's done to the mother and to themselves."

Post-abortion counseling helps them to be reconciled with their wife, their unborn child and themselves.

The annual Requiem Mass for the unborn is yet another opportunity for grace, said the deacon, whose mother and uncle were among the founders of the Right to Life League in the 1960s.

Everyone gets something different out of that Mass," said Deacon Brandlin. "It's all God working in each person."

Editor's note: For more information about Project Rachel, call the Right to Life League at (626) 398-6100.