Christmas is traditionally a time to come together and celebrate family, friendship and good cheer. It is a season associated with love, gift giving and deeply meaningful religious services and traditions.

Another type of gathering will take place December 11 --- a more serious gathering of families and friends than most. It will begin in New Zealand at 7 p.m. and continue around the world in every time zone on the stroke of 7 p.m. for 24 hours. It is the annual Worldwide Candle Lighting held by The Compassionate Friends, an organization created to assist families toward the resolution of grief following the death of a child.

The Compassionate Friends began a small Internet observance in 1997 to allow those mourning the loss of a child to memorialize that child. The observance has grown and now unites family and friends around the world every second Sunday in December for one hour to honor and remember children who have died, whether they are pre-born, stillborn, teenagers, young adults or older adults.

Candles are lit at 7 p.m. local time as hundreds of thousands of persons remember their children in a way that transcends ethnicity, culture, religion and politics. There are both formal, public candle-lighting events and informal, in-home remembrances that, combined, are said to create a virtual 24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone.

If we pay attention, God offers us the opportunity to enter into relationships with people who bring hope and positive energy into our lives. Some would say these relationships happen by coincidence; I am certain this is not the case. In the midst of the daily routine of life, as well as in trying and chaotic times, these people help us to understand what is important in life often because they have survived difficult circumstances.

The woman who introduced me to the Worldwide Candle Lighting event is one of these special people. The candle lighting this year will coincide with the fourth anniversary of her daughter's death from a tragic accident. One minute her beautiful 14-year-old daughter was jogging down a country road; the next minute she was dead, struck by a car.

In listening to her story, you can see and feel the pain of this mother's loss. You also experience the strength and heart of a woman who brought herself out of the depths of despair and has gone on to help others parents face their losses. She continues to grieve daily but piece-by-piece she has reconstructed her life -- different than it was --- with new meaning and goals. She brought the Worldwide Candle Lighting to Camarillo and expects to attract more than the 400 attendees of last year. It promises to be an evening of music, prayer and remembering.

As The Compassionate Friends say, it "gives bereaved families everywhere the opportunity to remember their child, that their light may always shine!"

The holidays --- and perhaps many other days --- are full of twists and turns for families who have experienced the death of a child. The candle lighting services being held locally at Padre Serra Church in Camarillo --- as well as locations in Glendale, Rancho Palos Verdes, Lancaster, La Mirada, San Clemente and Riverside --- may be help begin healing for grieving parents. Pass the information on; it may be the best gift you give this season.

The Compassionate Friends and information on the Worldwide Candle Lighting can be reached at www.compassionatefriends.org.

Anne Hansen is a parent education consultant and a parishioner at Blessed Junípero Serra Church, Camarillo. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com.