This is the first of a two- part series.
These are the persevering Catholics. They have struggled against long odds to hang onto their faith. They have carried the cross in ways few are called to do so. They have asked for welcome from the Catholic Church and are gradually finding it. They are returning the welcome by contributing to the ongoing success of local parishes.
This winter, the Ministry with Lesbian and Gay Catholics (MLGC) will celebrate 20 years of ministering to homosexual Catholics and their families in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles.
It is a ministry that specializes in helping families to uncover reservoirs of faith, hope and love as they wrestle with the most difficult questions regarding human sexuality and face uncertain futures. The ministry creates safe environments in which lesbian and gay Catholics and their parents realize they are not alone and can walk on the journey of faith together.
"There are times in our history when gay and lesbian people have felt very unwelcome," said Father Chris Ponnet, chaplain to the ministry. "The gift of this ministry is that it is primarily an affirmation of persons for who they are as members of the Catholic community and for their rightful place in the community."
When Catholic parents find out their child identifies as gay or lesbian, they often report feeling disappointed, sad, shame, guilt, confusion, anger, anxiety or acceptance. Some wonder about the cause of their child's homosexuality. Others grieve the grandchildren they will not have. Still others worry about the discrimination their son or daughter may face in the world.
Likewise homosexual Catholics often feel a range of emotions about how to make sense of their sexual orientation and integrate it with their faith.
Can a person be homosexual and Catholic? Does God's love, compassion and welcome extend to a lesbian or gay person?
"Gay and lesbian Catholics have a journey like everyone else to discover the Lord's presence," said Jesuit Father Wayne Negrete, who serves as chaplain to a parish-based group for homosexual Catholics at Blessed Sacrament Church in Hollywood. "God loves them and God wants a relationship with them."
Outreach groups
The ministry was founded in 1986 by Cardinal Roger Mahony to offer support, pastoral care and opportunities to learn and reflect on Catholic Church teaching on homosexuality.
It includes parish-based outreach groups throughout the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. The groups are not political, nor are they intended to be social clubs. Spiritual development and mutual support are at the core of their mission.
Currently there are parent peer support groups in English and Spanish in Los Angeles/South Bay, San Fernando/San Gabriel Valley, Simi Valley/Conejo and Santa Barbara/Ventura. Parents participate, hoping to understand their gay children and God's will for them.
"Parents who need help are often dealing with anger at themselves, thinking they somehow caused their child's homosexuality or despair that their child would 'choose to be homosexual,'" said Carolyn Aldapa, the parent of a lesbian daughter, a gay son, and two heterosexual children. She and her husband Robert of 45 years facilitate a Los Angeles parent support group. "Once the parents realize that no one is to blame they feel much better," she said. Parents are encouraged to keep loving their homosexual children, the same children they gave birth to and raised.
For lesbian and gay Catholics, parish-based outreach groups can be found at Blessed Sacrament Church in Hollywood, Our Lady of the Assumption Church in Claremont, St. Ambrose Church in West Hollywood, St. Dominic Church in Los Angeles, St. Jane Frances de Chantal Church in North Hollywood, St. Matthew Church in Long Beach, and St. Monica Church in Santa Monica.
Sophia's Circle welcomes lesbian women, and a Spanish-speaking group Emaus for gay and lesbian Catholics meets at the St. Camillus Pastoral Care Center of the L.A. County USC Hospital.
Additional churches are listed on a "Welcoming Parish" list meaning that pastors and parish leadership have said they will welcome homosexual Catholics to worship in their parishes.
The various outreach groups meet monthly for prayer, fellowship and speaker meetings. There have been Advent and Lenten days of prayer and weekend retreats. Educational classes have been offered at the five regional congresses in addition to the Religious Education Congress and the Building Inclusive Communities Institute. Cardinal Mahony presided at the 10th anniversary Mass of the ministry and has recognized significant contributions of individual members through the Lumen Christi awards.
In 1997 the cardinal urged gay and lesbian Catholics to reach out to peers who have felt estranged from the church. "Seek them out, make this a major pastoral goal, not just for their healing or comfort, but because they are baptized Catholics," said Cardinal Mahony during a homily delivered at a conference of the National Association of Catholic Diocesan Lesbian and Gay Ministries in Long Beach. "We need them to build up the Body of Christ, the church, and to join all of Jesus' disciples in proclaiming the reign of God."
As MLGC evolved and people experienced being welcomed by their parish communities, many gay and lesbian Catholics have become integrated and involved in numerous parish activities. Ministry members serve as lectors, musicians, choir members, RCIA teachers and sponsors and on parish finance councils.
Comunidad, at St. Matthew Church, is the oldest of the parish-based outreach groups to gay and lesbian Catholics. It has a mailing list of 300 people, although meetings generally draw 15-60 members.
Dave Kennedy, chair of the Comunidad steering committee, said the group's essential mission is to remind gay and lesbian Catholics of God's love for them.
"God made you. God loves you. We have to constantly remind people of that, gay or straight, black or white, or whatever else we happen to be and think we're inferior because of it," said Kennedy, a retired criminal investigator who radiates joy. "God made us this way and cherishes us. Next question: How do you live this out?"
Comunidad members are integrated in the life of the parish. They volunteer to set up and clean up for the parish festival. They've collected money for the St. Vincent de Paul Society, while others participate as lectors and Eucharistic ministers.
Baptismal call
Ministry with Lesbian and Gay Catholics got its nascent start at St. Matthew Church following the cardinal's initial call in 1986 to develop a ministry. Other parishes also began outreach programs. In 1990 the cardinal appointed Carmelite Father Peter Liuzzi to direct the ministry full-time, which he did from an office at St. Ambrose Church and then from the Archdiocesan Catholic Center. Father Liuzzi shepherded the ministry for 11 years, working with his assistant Marge Mayer, the mother of a gay son, for ten of those years.
The archdiocesan office was closed (as were other offices) as a result of financial cutbacks in 2002, but the ministry has continued under the lay leadership of Fran Ruth, coordinator. Father Ponnet serves as chaplain.
Most Catholics who identify as homosexual say they experience their sexual orientation as a process of discovery and not as something that was freely chosen. Reconciling their homosexual orientation with a Catholic faith that calls for chastity in the midst of a highly secular and sexualized world is not easy.
Also, many stereotypes, misconceptions and ignorance about homosexuality persist in society and in the church community that lead some gay Catholics to believe their sexual orientation means that they cannot go to Mass or receive the Sacraments. Some reject the church and its teachings, believing the church has rejected them as well.
Homosexual Catholics are "the Catholics some people want forgotten," Ruth said sadly. But gay and lesbian Catholics desire to be welcomed into the faith community, to be encouraged to contribute to a parish's well-being and to receive pastoral care, said Ruth, a parishioner of Our Lady of Grace Church in Encino. She is quick to encourage homosexual Catholics to persevere.
"Don't give your faith away," she tells people. "Faith is a gift from the Holy Spirit to be treasured."
Added Bill Mochon, a psychotherapist with a Master of Divinity degree and a first-year candidate in diaconate formation: "The Church brings us the Eucharist and the Gospel. Is that something we are willing to give up as gay and lesbian Catholics because of messages we're hearing that we don't like? It's too big a price to give up."
He encourages gay Catholics to persist in developing their relationship with the church and to allow themselves to grow out of the tensions that exist. MLGC supports them in that journey.
"The ministry is there to help gay and lesbian Catholics reclaim their baptism," said Kennedy. "Then they get excited about becoming active with their faith and in their parish community."
Next week: The Catholic Church's teaching on homosexuality and pastoral care.
Ministry with Lesbian and Gay Catholics
For more information on Ministry with Lesbian and Gay Catholics see www.la-archdiocese.org and click on "Ministry" at the top. The ministry also can be reached by calling the St. Camillus Center for Pastoral Care at (323) 225-4461.
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