Everywhere Americans are gathered this weekend, they will take time --- hopefully --- to give thanks and praise. What they are thankful for, of course, may vary.

Young children will mention mom and dad, brothers and sisters, cats, dogs, goldfish and hamsters, favorite teachers and special friends. They may surprise the adults when they express gratitude for the safety of brothers or sisters serving in the military or grandparents who have overcome an illness or injury. They may be thankful that mom is not working anymore or that dad has found a job. Children always notice far more than we think they do. Listen, smile and curb the urge to teach, instruct or judge. Enjoy their gratitude whether it is ordinary or profound.

Teenagers, if they choose to answer the question, may be brief or even curt in responding. Their thanks might include a new computer, a driver's license or a new job. Or, they may show a more serious side and talk about a good friend that listens or a doctor that helped them through a tough time. Even if they do not say it aloud be assured that they are thankful for moms and dads who set rules, monitor homework and friends, pay for math tutors and bail them out of the occasional difficult situation.

And adults? That may depend on what has happened in the family, and may involve issues of health, employment, sobriety, maybe even the reconciliation of family members long outside the fold of the family. New houses, fancy cars and exotic trips, while certainly wonderful and enjoyable, do not usually make adults' Thanksgiving list. There is something so special about this holiday that most people try to reach deep within their hearts to identify those things they are grateful for.

There is no doubt that moms, dads, grandmas and grandpas will recognize that the greatest blessings are people --- those gathered with them, and those close to their hearts. They will look at sons and daughters and grandchildren and offer their most heartfelt thanks for the goodness they bring to their lives.

Ultimately, and hopefully, it is God we thank for everything. "It is good," says the Psalmist, "to say thank you to the Lord, to sing praises to the God who is above all gods. Every morning tell him, 'Thank you for your kindness.' And every evening rejoice in all his faithfulness" (Psalm 92: 1-2).

There are those, however, who will come to the Thanksgiving table with heavy hearts. Their dreams have been dashed or delayed. They may take an extra drink or two to numb their pain so they are able to join in the festivities. It is a difficult place to be, yet who among us has not been there at one time or another?

Watch and listen as you gather with family and friends. Recognize those who are hurting, those for whom these are the most difficult times. Spend a few extra minutes visiting with the one who might need support; pay attention to the quiet ones.

If you are the one who is having a hard time being thankful, try to take each hour of the day as it comes. Spend some time with Scripture. Read through Psalms, especially 91 and 92. Whatever the pain, it is eased when shared with God.

Anne Hansen is a parent education consultant and a parishioner at Blessed Junípero Serra Church, Camarillo. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com.