My husband's parents recently celebrated 60 years of marriage. Their children, grandchildren and a few close friends gathered for a party in their honor. Their story is similar to many others of their era. They married very young (she was 18 and he was 19). Their wedding took place only four days after he came home from serving in the military during World War II.

My mother-in-law repeated a number of times throughout the party that on her wedding day she had no idea what the future held. She only paid attention to that specific day of the wedding. She seemed to want her grandchildren to think about that.

She explained later that there is a leap of faith involved when deciding to marry, and waiting until careers are launched and houses bought might not be the best plan. It can shift emphasis to possessions rather than the relationship.

The family sat and listened as she told us about the wedding and the dress she wore, and most importantly that her father would not allow her to marry until she was 18 and the war was over. She honored his wishes and, four days after turning 18, got married. Both she and her husband smiled as they remembered being young, naïve and very much in love; both agreed they would do it all over again given the chance.

The grandchildren, all young adults, listened intently as the stories were told. They seemed to enjoy the romanticism of what they were hearing. It was as though they were beginning to understand that these two people they knew as their Mimi and Papa had once been young just like them.

This was not the first anniversary party the family had given. They celebrated grandly the 40th and 50th anniversaries of this couple, one with a liturgy and renewal of vows in a crowded church. But there was something very different about this celebration.

For one thing it was much simpler. No fancy invitations, long guest lists or photographers. The dress was casual; the party was held on the patio of a favorite restaurant. The only gift to the couple was a list of dates that each family member would come and prepare dinner or take them out to dinner. It was a gift meant to keep on giving. The idea was that the gift of time together with family was the gift they would enjoy most. It was a quiet, relaxed gathering with the warm, friendly feeling that family generates.

The example these grandparents offered to their young and mostly unmarried grandchildren was priceless.

As they reminisced there were unintended teachable moments. The couple has faced significant medical problems over the years and each time they have been there for each other --- most especially, Papa for Mimi when she underwent a heart transplant, and Mimi for Papa during a very recent brain procedure. To witness them smiling, sharing serious and at times very funny stories was wonderful on many levels.

They are not an extraordinary couple, other than having made a commitment to be there for each other in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and having kept that commitment for 60 years. (Which, of course, may make them extraordinary in this day and age.) They have bickered, fought and disagreed. They have certainly had their dark moments of doubt and worry, but they were able to rise above all of that to stay together.

When asked the secret to the success of this very long term relationship, they agreed that being able to talk to each other, to let loose and have fun together certainly helped. They also spoke of mutual respect.

Some of us follow the love affairs and marriages of movie stars and rock stars, whether on the evening news or at the check-out line at the supermarket, where we are bombarded by magazine covers of "beautiful" young couples marrying and splitting up. We seldom see wrinkled faces and gray hair and words of praise for a marriage that has stood the test of time.

The news and magazine industries are not going to change --- youth and aberrant behavior will always make headlines --- but we can use the example of couples like Mimi and Papa with our children and in our churches and schools. We can offer more education and support to families through social events, organized programs and homilies. Most of all, we can celebrate their achievements in making and living up to the vows they made so many years ago.

Anne Hansen is a parent education consultant and a parishioner at Blessed Junípero Serra Church, Camarillo. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com.