My trip to Germany for World Youth Day gave me an experience of a lifetime. I went in search of fun and adventure but gained something more. My reason for going to Germany Aug. 11-22 had nothing to do with spirituality but in the end, that's exactly what I found.

My host family in Geisenhausen (south of Cologne) taught me a lot and for that I am most grateful. For a family to invite complete and total strangers into their home is such a selfless act, but to be the foreigner, the guest, has left me with such an unbelievable feeling. The Schrei family opened the door to their house and opened their hearts to myself, Esther Hernandez, and Maribel Ocampo from Los Angeles and that is something I shall never forget.

Still, I know I will see them again one day, I hold on to that hope.

In Lisa, the 15 year old of the house, I found a sister in Germany. She was the main person that showed me to open up to anything and everything, no matter the outcome. She and her family taught me not to be afraid to experiment and experience new things.

I was scared of traveling. I had my safe zone in Los Angeles and I was afraid to leave it. Now, thanks to my 'new' family and friends I see that traveling is fun and meeting new people gives a feeling that cannot be topped.

I was the last person to join Ascension and St Frances X Cabrini Parish pilgrimage. At 15, I was also the youngest in the group and, in my opinion, the most troubled. I was emotionally confused before I began my journey, and I had too many problems at home. I thought the trip would help me forget all about them. Little did I know that Germany would help me overcome them instead.

Preparing for the trip was weird. I met everyone that was going to Germany through my confirmation class: Juan M. Gerardo and Juan M. Fraire (youth minister), Terron Johnson, George Ozuna, Sergio Lara, and Victor Contreras, Maribel Ocampo (peer ministers), and Francisco Mojica, a confirmation candidate just like myself.

Last year, Juan M.G. asked the confirmation class if anyone was interested in volunteering to go and help out at the Rosebowl fundraiser by working the concession stands for a percentage of sales.

The reason I went was because I wanted to get out of my house as much as possible. I would have never guessed Rosebowl was to raise money for a trip, let alone a trip I would take part in; I met the rest of the pilgrims there: Esther Hernandez, Christian Aguilar, and Rolando Rodriguez. It gave me a feeling of destiny and purpose in the end. There were times when I had no idea why I was volunteering. I knew I could quit whenever I felt like it but for some reason I didn't. No matter how many times I would get mad at customers for being so difficult, I still showed up to every event that I could attend. My perseverance paid off.

As the date for World Youth Day in Germany approached, I struggled to overcome my fears. I had problems meeting new people and it was my first time traveling anywhere that wasn't Baja California. Luckily, Juan M. Fraire and Juan M.G. and the other pilgrims from our church talked to me and helped to lift my spirits.

Being in Germany and feeling much love, I remember three times I had a feeling of deep spirituality. At the time, I didn't know what it was. I couldn't explain the feeling. Now that I think about it, the only explanation I can find is that it was a spiritual encounter.

The first time I felt this unexplainable feeling was when Juan M.G., the coordinator of our pilgrimage, had me write a petition for our farewell Mass at Geisenhausen. I had a line that said in Spanish, "Give us the strength to continue without fear." That is the only line that I can say came from my heart, even though what I felt when I wrote it was fear.

My second feeling of enlightenment was during my second week in Germany. I was feeling pretty down because I had too many problems awaiting me upon my return home. I broke down two days before coming back. I was holding too much in. This little episode was different though. Instead of just letting it out and not doing anything about it, I was actually trying to come up with some solutions to losing my mom's trust. If I wasn't helped out by Juan M.G. that night, I would still have the same unresolved problem today. Now I'm actually trying to fix it, and it feels as if a load on my shoulders has been lifted.

The third and last feeling of spirituality was in London on our way back home. I was feeling like I was the only person expressing her emotions. I didn't understand why no one else was. That day, George Ozuna was staying in London while the rest of us continued on our way home to Los Angeles, so we prayed. All the feelings we were still holding in just came pouring out. It was the most beautiful thing in the world: saying thank you, wishing each other well, and even Juan M.G. broke down and cried, which is something he never ever does. We realized that our 3 years worth of hard work and sacrifice was coming to an end, a BEAUTIFUL end.

Before this trip I felt like my life had no meaning. I had nothing to look forward to, but now I know God has a plan for all of us. We just have to look for it. I don't know yet what he has planned for me but I know I'm destined for great things. He has given me life and I must make the best of it.

I know in my heart this journey I have taken with loved ones has changed me. I was searching for answers to my life and I actually found them during World Youth Day 2005 in Germany. Who knew that the answers would be thousands of miles away from home.

Dayanna Jaquez, 15, is a confirmation candidate at Ascension Church in Los Angeles.