Recently there was public discussion because some young female athletes wore flip flops to a White House ceremony honoring their achievements. The discussion focused on the lack of respect this type of dress might represent. Yet, as any woman will tell you the stores are full of beaded and glittery flip flops that cost more than most of us want to spend on any pair of shoes. The athlete's choice of footwear was most likely a statement of current fashion rather than a lack or respect.
There is a line of thinking that says we are what we wear. If that were true, many of us, as well as our children, would be inappropriately labeled. The truth is -- we wear what is fashionable at the moment -- with less thought these days on the correctness of it. It was not always this way, however.
There was a time when the heads and shoulders of women were covered as a sign of respect before entering a church. Hats and gloves were an integral part of an adult woman's wardrobe, and men wore suits and ties to work as well as to church on a regular basis. Women cleaned house in skirts and dresses; they wore pants only for very casual occasions. Nuns wore habits - gowns that completely covered every part of their bodies except their hands and face. Veils and headdresses kept their hair hidden.
In the late sixties modern fashion took a turn. Casual attire directed by personal preference was the new fashion code. Pants became socially acceptable for women, and young people began to adopt the uniform of jeans and t-shirts. Even nuns embarked on a campaign to move from habits into regular clothes.
In 1969, while a student at Immaculate Heart College in Los Angeles, a major change took place. The students (all women) were informed it was acceptable to wear pants to class. Up to this point, Catholic women's colleges (as well as many other institutions) demanded dresses and skirts. Happy to be able to wear pants at school, I arrived one morning and to my great surprise was summoned to an administrator's office. She spared no words in letting me know how disappointed she was in me for bending to the trend. She was not in favor of nuns moving away from the habit, nor did she think pants were correct attire for school. A huge societal shift was taking place, and at the start of the shift morality and personal worth was closely associated with how one dressed.
It is so easy to judge others based on their appearance. We look around the church on any Sunday and pick out those we believe are underdressed, inappropriately dressed or just plain messy. Sometimes it is the woman in the short tight dress, other times it is the man in shorts that belong at the beach or backyard. Usually, however, the offenders are young people. We live in an era of, short, tight and revealing, and that is what the young people are wearing.
Those of us with children understand that at a certain age children give up wearing what mom or dad thinks is proper and move to their own mode of fashion, which usually pushes convention. I remember well the huge baggy, wrinkled pants worn by one of my children on Easter Sunday or the times the skirts were so short the child had to return upstairs before leaving the house for church.
There is certainly a limit on what is considered to be appropriate dress, and we all know that limit has been crossed when we see it. However, when dealing with children, unless the outfit is completely outrageous it is best to be careful with our opinions. Nearly every child who follows the fashion of the day, crazy as it seems at the time, grows up to understand how to dress suitably for certain occasions.
We may wish for a return to the "more dressed up" era and it may come, however it is doubtful that it will be soon, if ever. In the end it is the demeanor, attitude and character of the person that matters, not what style of dress they choose. As far as dressing for church, it seems that it more important to welcome people to the liturgy than to judge their clothing.
Anne Hansen is a parent education consultant and a parishioner at Blessed Junípero Serra Church, Camarillo. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com. |