It has always struck me as ironic, but awfully appropriate, that we celebrate Holy Family on the Sunday after Christmas.

I mean, the holidays tend to bring out the best and worst of families. We experience the longing to be together with loved ones, which usually includes family members. But the holidays also tend to magnify the tensions within families --- the wounds, resentments, and conflicts seem to come to the surface as we try to deal with all the holiday responsibilities. The expectations for holiday bliss are usually very high, and the disappointment when tensions arise can be very painful.

Against this backdrop we celebrate Holy Family. We celebrate the example of the faithfulness of Jesus' human family. Mary trusted the Holy Spirit, and carried and raised the baby Jesus. Joseph believed the Spirit that told him that Mary's pregnancy was divine, and he followed the Spirit's lead to flee Israel when Jesus' life was in danger. We are called to emulate this faithfulness.

The good news is that being a holy family means being a faithful family, and not necessarily a perfect family. In today's readings, we are challenged to be faithful husbands, wives, parents, and children. "Wives, be subordinate to your husbands,

as is proper in the Lord," Paul writes to the Colossians. "Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged."

I think it is safe to assume that Paul writes this exhortation not because the first Christians are finding it easy to be faithful families. Likely they struggle as we all do to be faithful to Christ in their lives and relationships, including family relationships. Like us, they are not called to be perfect but they are called to be faithful.

Perhaps what we need most of all to remember on this Sunday is our commitment to our families. We are called to be faithful to God, but we are also called to be faithful to our families. Joseph uprooted his family immediately when he was told that might be in danger. If it were I, with no danger visible, I would probably worry about my job, my home, and my possessions. What would become of these things?

Family means many things to many people. For some of us, family means parents and children living in the same home. Of course, that family isn't the kind of experience everyone has. And for others, it means adults having their aging parents in their home, a challenge of a different sort.

It is not always easy to be faithful to our families, but it is a whole lot easier than trying to be a perfect family. The perfect family is the product of television programs and Madison Avenue. It is something few of us can achieve. The faithful family is something all of us can achieve. As we look to start a new calendar year, it a faithful family member, as a spouse, parent, child and sibling, is something I want to resolve to try harder to be.

Bill Peatman writes from Napa.