Years ago when my daughters were coming home from college for the holidays, I referred to them as "troops." When they arrived dressed in jeans, white T-shirts and big heavy boots, laden with laundry stuffed into duffel bags, and telling tales of life away from home, they looked somewhat like they belonged in the military.

This year, however, when the youngest college student of the family arrived home with stories to tell and the usual duffel bag full of clothes, it did not feel quite right to refer to him as part of the "troops." This year, thousands of college-age young people cannot come home because they really are troops.

Those of us who do not have children serving in the military in Iraq and surrounding areas cannot begin to imagine what it must be like. My prayers every night include a plea for the well-being of each of my five children, all of whom reside within the U.S. What must the prayers be like of a mother and father who have a son or daughter serving in the armed forces in a part of the world where bombs and snipers take lives every day?

This past weekend, a huge sign in the parking lot of a local strip-mall flashed the words, "God bless our troops this Thanksgiving." It made me wonder if many of us think about the young soldiers in Iraq or how many of us included them in our Thanksgiving prayers.

We go about our business, especially at this busy time of the year, concentrating on those within our immediate circle. This is natural as we prepare for the holidays. However, if each of us could offer a small prayer every day, maybe at the dinner table, for the "kids" (as some refer to the young soldiers), it might make a difference in their lives and maybe help bring about a movement toward peace.

It bothers me that the names of those who die each week in the battles waged in Iraq are not printed on the front pages of our newspapers, but rather buried in the back sections. Where are the pictures of their coffins, funerals and memorial services with family and friends gathered to pay respects? Aren't the soldiers' deaths just as important as much of the other front page news?

War is a terrible thing, and it is still not clear to me why it was necessary this time. But whether we agree with the decision or not, we have to pay more attention to the young people who are sent to fight. They deserve more press and certainly all the help modern technology has to offer. If we condone sending them off to war, then we have the moral responsibility to do our very best to take care of them.

The lead TV news stories last weekend were about the shopping malls and the revenue being generated. Images of shoppers overloaded with packages maneuvering through the aisles of busy stores cause us to shake our heads and laugh, and we share war stories about finding a parking space.

And maybe we are so comfortable in our own living rooms that we forget about the real war stories being experienced every day by our sons and daughters in the military, in a country far, far away.

As a church, it might be time to expend more time and energy on the reality of this war. We may not be able to change the course of things, but we can do what we do well --- pray. Until the battles are over and our young people are no longer fighting, we need to offer more prayers, candlelight vigils, liturgies for their safety and more to keep them at the forefront of our minds.

Anne Hansen is a parent education consultant and a parishioner at Blessed Junípero Serra Church, Camarillo. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com.