There are times when our hearts overflow with gratitude for the goodness and grace of God. Sometimes these moments are quiet and personal and other times the awareness comes amidst revelry and rejoicing with others. Whatever the circumstance there is a physical feeling that God is present in the moment.
When I finally went to bed the night of my daughter's wedding there was only one prayer and it became a silent chant throughout the night and the next day: "Thank you, God." There was really nothing else to say. As our homilist said, "The hand of God is certainly present."
In the last few days leading up to the wedding, so much had happened. The groom's family arrived in California only two days before the wedding to meet the bride's family for the first time. Everyone was nervous but the introductions were warm and by the end of the evening the families were coming together, laughing, talking, eating, drinking and sharing stories. It was a scene that is carried out with many families as they meld into one at the time of a wedding, and it brings with it a feeling of repeating ancient rituals.
This type of joining together has gone on for centuries in every culture all over the world.
By the day of the wedding the usual chaos was in full swing. The house was full of people, suitcases, tuxedos and fancy dresses. A small crisis occurred when the bride's headpiece was missing but just as the search got a bit frantic I remembered throwing a small bag into the trash. The headpiece was rescued and the crisis mode moved to the hair salon. Seven bridesmaids, one bride and her mother filled the shop with chatter, laughing and bit of anxiety. Everyone eventually emerged hair happy.
As every family who had participated in a wedding knows, there is not much time to think in the final few hours. Everyone moves in cadence to the church and then almost miraculously the ceremonies begin.
The music, the flowers, the beauty and the blessings become somewhat of a blur in the emotions of the moment. Even today, a few days after the wedding, it is nearly impossible to describe the deep feelings of love and gratitude felt as the liturgy unfolded.
Moving to the party after the wedding brought to mind the wonderful words written by Cathy Coffey in her book, "Hidden Women of the Gospels," where she recreates the wedding feast at Cana from the point of view of the mother of the bride. "All around me, crusty old men were telling jokes. Ancient enemies were dancing together. Young people were flirting, and it seemed contagious: their parents were looking with misty-eyed kindness on spouses…People were relaxed, yet seemed to care more intensely. Surely this impossible combination came from another hand than mine."
Similar things happened at our wedding. The extended families of both the bride and groom, sometimes fractured and distanced, were together, smiling, happy and talking. A few were quiet and pensive, but they were present and as every family knows that is sometimes surely due to the grace of God.
The wedding party, brothers, sisters and friends of the bride and groom were gorgeous in their youth and exuberance. Grandmas and grandpas, slowed by age, were enjoying the party from their seats and there was no doubt that all of this did not happen by accident.
As the evening progressed and the toasts were made, everyone relaxed in comfort and fun. The dance floor was filled with every age and combination possible with the bride and groom leading the way.
The party resumed with lunch the day after the wedding, and by the time everyone had gone home there was a wonderful sense of peace that settled over the house. The planning, the shopping and the work involved were over. The bride and groom were on their way to a quiet honeymoon and the brothers and sisters that supported them were moving back into the routine of life.
It was a good feeling, and brought with it the realization that these moments are rare and should be savored and certainly acknowledged as gifts from God. Anne Hansen is a parent education consultant and a parishioner at Blessed Junípero Serra Church, Camarillo. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com. |