In 1999, when the stock market was high and the economy was humming nicely, my wife and I bought a piece of property where we planned to build our dream home.

It was a lovely spot, and we developed a lovely home plan. Unfortunately, by the time we completed the planning process for our new home, the stock market had been decimated and we lacked the funds with which to build.

In today's Gospel reading, Jesus warns his followers, "Which of you wishing to construct a tower does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if there is enough for its completion? Otherwise, after laying the foundation and finding himself unable to finish the work the onlookers should laugh at him and say, 'This one began to build but did not have the resources to finish.'"

"In the same way," Jesus concludes, "anyone who does not renounce all his possessions cannot be my disciple."

Now, I can relate to this parable about failing to calculate the cost of a project before starting it. Every time some asks me about our property, I feel a pang of shame for having to cancel the construction. But Jesus, of course, is talking about much more than building a home or a tower.

He is talking about building a lifestyle of putting his teachings first in our lives, and following him before all else. And he is asking us to consider whether we really feel that we are prepared for this journey before we start out, lest we quit part way through.

Jesus says that we must renounce all of our possession if we want to follow him. I have mixed feelings about this challenge. I like most of my possessions an awful lot. In times of personal strength and success, I want to keep them. But in times of great sorrow and sadness, I'd give them up in a second to experience God's healing power. Possessions seem meaningless in the face of overwhelming pain and sorrow when a loved one suffers, or a friend is in pain.

Does Jesus want us to literally rid ourselves of all possessions? I don't know, but I doubt it. For just ridding ourselves of homes, cars, furniture and money doesn't necessarily mean that we won't continue to covet these things and desire them more than we desire union with God.

Jesus is asking us to consider the cost of following him before we start. Well, most of us are already on that road, and no doubt we've already come to points where we had to choose to continue to believe and trust him even in the midst of terrible losses. For Jesus doesn't promise us material success and abundance. He does promise us spiritual sustenance --- even then, not always abundance, but enough to continue the journey.

In the end, that is what we must do, regardless of the possessions we hold, the homes we own, or the plans we have for the future. We must keep following Jesus Christ, putting one foot in front of the other, and believe that God's love is stronger than any loss we might face.

Bill Peatman writes from Napa.