Editor's note: This is the fourth of a 6-part series addressing spiritual issues at the heart of the archdiocese, prepared by the Archdiocesan Spirituality Commission.

Trust is a confident expectation that we are safe from all kinds of harm. From our earliest moments we learn in our parents' arms to trust that we will be cared for.

As the circle of life expands we learn to trust authority figures. We trust that relatives, baby-sitters, teachers, doctors and clergy always have our welfare at heart. In addition, with regard to clergy, besides this basic trust, we believe that since, in some way, they represent God, our trust in a loving God is affected by the manner in which they interact with us.

Gradually, as we mature, we realize that sometimes we feel betrayed by those who love us. On occasion we are able to express our feeling of hurt and betrayal, and are listened to respectfully, but not always. If we receive an apology or request for forgiveness, we may gradually regain our trust in authority, as we begin to realize that we live in an imperfect world.

During the present crisis in the church, we are facing two distinct experiences by which our trust has been violated: the sexual abuse of our youth by some clergy and the long delayed response of church leaders to the abuse.

The confidence we once had that it was safe for our young people to be with priests in church, sacristy, rectory or at parish social events is shattered. Even though the majority of clergy are faithful and trustworthy, the discovery that some have abused children and youth has tainted the relationship of many of the laity with their clergy.

Such a change in attitude has been a cause of great anguish for these honorable men who continue their ministry faithfully and with integrity. It is sad to realize that, because of the abuse, some parents will not allow their children to be altar servers because they are not convinced they would be safe.

How, then, do we begin to trust again?

While forgiveness calls us to pardon the offender whether the offense is acknowledged or not, trust requires mutual engagement. Before the victim can consider whether or how much to trust again, there must be an honest acknowledgement and commitment from the offender that the abuse will not be repeated. With regard to most clergy who had no part in the abuse, but are suspect by association, we hope that their continued faithfulness, humility, compassion and openness in their ministry will help parishioners grow in trust again.

Another level of betrayal is the delayed response of church leaders and their failure to act responsibly on receiving reports of sexual abuse by clergy. This neglect is institutional as well as individual in nature. The tendency of some church authorities to protect the perpetrator rather than the victim has angered and scandalized many of the laity and clergy. There is a deep resentment that so many were left vulnerable to such abuse for years because abusers were moved around to various parishes.

In the face of such anger and disillusionment, how do we begin to rebuild trust in church leaders?

In recent months our hierarchy has acknowledged the church's long history of silence in the face of reported abuse, has requested forgiveness, and made promises of reform. This is a beginning. But many laity are still awaiting concrete signs of change and openness in church reform. They are asking for real collaboration and consultation at all levels of church life. They seek respect and acknowledgement that the church belongs to all its members.

It is clear that the church in the U.S. has been changed by this experience and will never be the same again. Hopefully, in the long process of recovery and healing the church will emerge a more humble and compassionate community, a witness to the constant presence of God's Spirit in its midst.

Looking to our biblical tradition for grounding and for hope, we come to Peter, who after his betrayal, repented as he "went away and wept bitterly" (Matthew 26: 75). Later he returned and was again entrusted by Jesus with the leadership of his church. In asking Peter, "Do you love me?" (John 21: 15), it would seem that Jesus is asking him and, by implication, all church leaders for a renewed commitment to love so that they may be worthy of the trust of His flock.

However, such renewed trust has to be earned step by step. It calls for great patience and commitment by all concerned. Our trust will no longer be automatic or naïve, but one that calls us to be "wise as serpents and simple as doves" (Matthew 10: 16). There is no formula for the right balance between wisdom and simplicity. Such trust is a gift, a grace, given in response to prayer.

What is required of us is that we be open to receiving that gift, as we journey together through the present darkness toward the light of Christ's healing love.

Sister of St. Louis Laura Gormley is a member of the Archdiocesan Spirituality Commission, and is involved in spiritual direction, retreat and bereavement ministries.