Three quarters of couples get married in churches and other houses of worship. Nearly 270,000 weddings were celebrated in parishes last year.

A majority of young people still name marriage as their life goal and 90 percent of them will eventually marry. More than 50 percent of adults have married only once and remain in those marriages. Around 80 percent report they are very satisfied and would wed the same person again. The divorce rate is declining slightly. There is a rising level of interest in marriage education. A lively public debate is taking place about the proper role of government in promoting marriage and stabilizing the two-parent family.

If there was ever an opportune moment for churches to work on behalf of marriage, this is it! The needs are extensive. The social climate has grown more positive. People from both traditional and progressive viewpoints are reaching the same conclusion that supporting marriages is a multi-faceted responsibility in which churches play a major part.

Many parishes do a good job of helping the engaged to get married. But do they also, in the words of a friend of mine, help the married to stay engaged? Building and sustaining marriages is the major challenge for couples and should be also for churches in partnership with them.

In 2001 the U.S. Bishops Committee on the Laity conducted an on-line survey asking people how parishes could improve their efforts to help laity respond to their Christian call in the world. Twenty thousand of the sixty thousand total responses recommended parishes improve how they help couples grow in their commitment to married life. Respondents offered suggestions that ranged from preaching and teaching on family issues to support groups or retreat programs for couples to a system of older couples mentoring younger ones.

As I read through the responses, one message jumped out again and again: Not much is offered in our parish. We would welcome nearly anything. We married couples feel abandoned once the parish has conducted marriage preparation and helped us celebrate our wedding day.

This situation is truly unfortunate. We are missing the opportunity, even the duty, to strengthen, evangelize and renew the relationship which exists at the heart of a family. Without holy and healthy marriages we have little hope for family, society, and church.

What can parishes and pastoral leaders do? Before launching programs, it's necessary to be clear about a fundamental belief. This conviction should be the starting point.

Simply put, we must believe and then act on the belief that marriage is a Christian vocation. It is more than simply a lifestyle some people choose. Like the priesthood and religious life, married life is a calling from the Lord and a specific, sacramentally-graced way to travel life's path of holiness. Therefore, it merits and requires the involvement and support of a faith community. No couple should be left alone to succeed or fail in their marriage.

We must be a church that promotes and sustains all vocations. Each vocation, when lived authentically, reinforces the other ones. We are one body with many members, sharing different gifts. Emphasizing marriage should not make second-class citizens out of those who are single or divorced any more than valuing celibate vocations should cast doubt on those who are married.

So, if a parish is committed to supporting the marital vocation, what might be done?

We could start to make the marital vocation more visible by regularly including prayers for couples and families in the General Intercessions at Mass. I'm amazed at how seldom we pray for those contemplating marriage, for those trying to live it faithfully, or for those whose marriages have ended, even though the majority of people in any congregation live in these very situations.

Engaged couples, in addition to receiving high quality marriage preparation from a priest or deacon and a team of experienced couples, could be recognized and blessed publicly during their preparation in much the same way as we celebrate the catechumens' journey. Since 40 percent of Catholics marry someone of another religion, every marriage preparation program should deal with practical questions of belief, practice, worship, family expectations and children's education, for example.

A priest in suburban New York recently said his priority is to start a peer ministry for married couples to help them live their vocation, carry their crosses and share their joy. Too many parish ministries, he observed, simply presumed that couples would benefit by a trickle-down effect if they only participated, e.g., in sacramental preparation for their children. What was missing was an effort to help couples, in their own right, to build and sustain their marriages.

His emphasis on couples helping one another is pastorally sound. The U.S. bishops recommended this 20 years ago in their pastoral plan for family ministry. Even before that, the like-to-like approach flourished (and still does) in such ministries as Teams of Our Lady, Christian Family Movement and Marriage Encounter. Many people who completed the on-line survey mentioned above asked for such groups in their parishes.

I know a deacon and his wife who are credentialed counselors. When their pastor asked them to hang out a shingle in the parish, almost instantly they had more clients than they could handle. In addition to peer support, couples often need professional help and many seem inclined to seek it in the world of their faith community.

Couples also look to their parish for positive teaching and preaching about marriage and family issues. Priests who prayerfully discuss the liturgical readings with a cross section of laity seem to find it easier to connect parishioners everyday experience with Gods word and, what's more, their congregations agree.

Retreat programs for couples are an effective outreach, but they must be adapted to today's busy schedules. A half-day program Saturday or Sunday, including Mass, a meal, and childcare tends to be a more suitable than the traditional weekend format.

A parish in Minnesota has launched an initiative called Marriage Matters. So far, they've organized: a babysitting co-op so couples can have a date night out; a mentoring system matching older couples with younger ones; husbands and wives groups in which both work on how to be a better spouse followed by each group consulting with the other; and a monthly parish celebration for all the wedding anniversaries in any given month.

These ideas are but a sampling. Above all, we need to have a strong conviction about supporting marriages. With this as a starting point, then convene a group of couples and let the creative juices flow.

H. Richard McCord is executive director of the USCCB Secretariat for Family, Laity, Women & Youth.