If we were to keep track of each day over the period of a few weeks, we could create a chart with lines running up and down, something like the charts used to track business profits and losses. Some days the lines would be way up high, indicating good experiences, and other days they would be lower, marking difficult experiences.

Lately, I have been very conscious of the sometimes extreme variation of life's experiences from one day to the next. For instance, a couple of weeks ago I attended the funeral of a young woman whose sudden death was heartbreaking for her family and friends. My memory of her was from years ago when she attended grammar school with my children. As I sat in the church and watched her mother and listened to her brother deliver a poignant eulogy, I tried to imagine the pain they must be feeling.

A few rows in front of me sat three women. They were friends, all from the same church. They had also all lost children, two as adults and one as a pre-teen. It was a sobering sight to see the backs of their heads, very close together bent in prayer and without doubt thinking of their own deceased children. They understood what was happening far more than most of us gathered in the church.

The next day was set aside for wedding gown shopping. It was a busy day full of laughter and gentle teasing between sisters and good friends. In the crowded bridal shop there were women of all shapes, sizes and ages looking for the perfect dress. In the midst of "oh's" and "ah's," as each bride emerged from a dressing room there was also emotion, mothers and mother-in-laws smiling and occasionally wiping their eyes at the sight of their beautiful bride-to-be. The shopping culminated with lunch where there was more chatter and laughter about wedding plans and dresses.

As I thought about these two days, back to back, yet so different in tone and purpose, I thought about how we move so often from the happy times to the difficult times and how important it is to support each other in both.

Many years ago, a beloved uncle arrived late to his niece's wedding, a surprise to the family who thought he would not be able to be there at all. It was exciting to see him and so much fun for everyone to be together. Four days later, on his way to work he was killed in an automobile accident. Many of the same people who gathered for the wedding came together again to support each other and the family in the midst of grief. Over one week the best of times and the worst of times were shared.

This past weekend was the baptism of our baby grandson. It took place during the Saturday afternoon liturgy and was a proud moment for everyone. The parents beamed, as their baby was immersed into the baptismal pool and then held high to be welcomed into the church community. There was a party afterwards to celebrate everything a baptism means. It was good to be surrounded by friends and share the happiness with them.

As I committed the baptism and the party to memory I thought about other times this group would come together. They will pray, sing and share food and drink. They will celebrate graduations, weddings, birthdays and anniversaries, but they will also support each other when a life hangs in the balance due to sickness or a life has passed.

As we prepare for Lent and begin to consider our own special sacrifice in preparation for Easter, it might be worth considering an effort to be aware and available to those who need us. While we all acknowledge the need to reach out to others, especially those outside our specific circle and the poor, this might be the time to watch and listen to those we interact with often but sometimes take for granted.

Each of us has things to celebrate and things to cry over. The celebrations are so much richer when shared and the pain is made easier when someone is there is help us through it. Taking the time to recognize and be part of each other's days, in more than a casual way, is living the commandment Jesus left us: to "love your neighbor as you love yourself." Special attention to this during Lent will make a difference in life throughout the year.

Anne Hansen is a parent education consultant and a parishioner at Blessed Junípero Serra Church, Camarillo. Her e-mail address is familymail@aol.com.