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Respect, love and compromise. For Charlotte and Roger Richard,
these three little words are crucial to sustaining a long-term
marriage --- 61 years.
The Richards were among five couples married 60 or more
years honored at this year's World Marriage Day celebration
on Feb. 8 at the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels, which
was presided over by Cardinal Roger Mahony.
The annual event celebrates the life-long commitment of
married couples and honors the beauty of their faithfulness,
sacrifice and joy in daily, married life. Other longtime married
couples included Mr. & Mrs. Jose Arroyo (72 years), Mr. &
Mrs. Donald Prideaux (61 years), Mr. & Mrs. Stephen Brewster
(61 years) and Mr. & Mrs. Robert Perez (61 years).
The Richards are an example of a marriage well lived. Longtime
members of St. Robert Bellarmine Church in Burbank the Richards
have two children: Roger, 59, a college professor in Indiana;
and Michele, 49, a teacher of mentally handicapped children
in northern California. They have one granddaughter, Rachel
20, who lives in northern California.
Making a marriage last is not as complicated as people today
claim, the Richards say. After mutual attraction, it just
takes basic respect and compromise.
Love
at first sight
The year was 1942 and the country was at war --- a war that
brought the Richards together and then tore them apart.
Both Charlotte and Roger were in Connecticut working at
a factory producing war materials --- Charlotte in the office
and Roger as a machinist. Roger was the new guy in town and
he immediately noticed "a few nice looking girls in the front
office."
But Roger had a girl he was getting serious about back home
in New Hampshire so he kept his mind on his work. And Charlotte
had a boyfriend so she paid him little attention.
The Richards finally met when a group of co-workers went
out bowling one evening. Charlotte says she wasn't so impressed
by Roger, but Roger says the attraction was mutual that night.
A group of guys at the factory had a bet on who was going
to get the first date so Roger told them "to get their money
together" because it was going to be him.
"So I asked Charlotte out," he recalled, "and she said yes.
And from then on, that was it."
They've been together ever since.
The Richards were married on Dec. 12, 1942 on the Feast
of Our Lady of Guadalupe, after eight months of courtship.
But by February, Roger had received his draft papers and
was shipped off to war. Their first child was born while Richard
was away. He managed to get leave and make it home the day
after his son, Roger, was born and he didn't see his wife
or son again for two years.
"When he came home I told our son, 'Here's your Daddy,'
and he said to him 'You're not my daddy, my daddy is in that
picture.' He just knew his father from the photo, not as a
real person," said Charlotte.
"It took some time to convince him I was actually his father,"
said Roger through laughter.
It was five years before Roger re-joined the family permanently,
and both say their love and faith in each other never wavered.
"We missed each other an awful lot. She wrote me every day
and I hardly wrote back. I didn't care much for letter writing
in those days," said Roger. "But the main thing is love and
respect. Marriage is a 60-40 proposition on both sides. You
always have to do more than you think you do."
After the war, the Richards moved to California and later
had their second child.
Having
faith
Both Charlotte and Roger grew up in families of strong faith
and continued this tradition in their marriage. Charlotte
was Lutheran growing up but converted to Catholicism when
she married Roger.
Roger's family was so devout that his older sister, who
is 96, became a nun and his 91-year-old brother was headed
for the priesthood until he became ill and had to leave seminary.
Roger was also set on the priesthood and attended seminary.
But he said he realized as a young man that this wasn't his
vocation.
"Fortunately I found this out before I finished," he said.
"And it wasn't because of me," piped up Charlotte.
"No," said Roger. "It wasn't the girls that changed my mind.
I knew my calling was elsewhere."
This lively exchange personified the spirit and connection
between the Richards. After 61 years, they obviously still
enjoy each other's company and thrive on the love that they
share.
At 82 years of age, they are as active and vibrant as a
much younger couple. They travel frequently and are very active
in their parish's activities and Roger has been a very active
member of the Hollywood chapter of the Knights of Columbus
since 1969, holding the office of Grand Knight four times.
The
Richards say that a lot of younger couples forget the important
part their faith plays in a marriage.
"A lot of young people don't go to church anymore and that's
a problem," said Charlotte. "They don't seem to know how to
bend and compromise to get through the more difficult times."
Being a faithful Catholic has "helped us have a lot of respect
for each other," said Roger. "We pray for each other and help
each other. We have had our disagreements but we respect each
other's wishes."
The Richards have lived a good life, they say, and for that
they are grateful.
"It's been a joyride," said Roger.
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